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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Fear of potential loss is a terrible reason to stay in the wrong place

By David McElroy · November 27, 2018

I have a friend who’s a manager for a small company that has multiple locations around Birmingham. She’s been with the company for 15 years and is really good at her job. There’s only one problem.

She’s absolutely miserable at work — but she won’t quit.

Every time I see this woman and her husband, the primary topic is the dysfunction in her company. For the last five years or so, there’s been a new owner and he’s a nightmare. She says he’s a “trust fund baby” who’s never worked or made his own money, but he keeps buying small businesses with inherited money and running them into the ground.

Her company is constantly on the verge of shutting down. The power has been turned off for non-payment. Equipment has been repossessed during the work day. Payroll checks have bounced multiple times.

Her husband wants her to quit. She’s been offered multiple other jobs. I’ve suggested over and over that she needs to get out. But she refuses to quit.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: happiness, job, marriage

‘Dad, is there really a Santa Claus?’ Should we lie to kids or tell truth?

By David McElroy · November 26, 2018

We never talked much about Santa in my family. I don’t remember ever believing that a jolly man in a red coat delivered toys to children all around the world. To me, it was just a fun story — just like all the other stories I enjoyed so much as a kid.

My father wasn’t sure whether any of us believed in Santa Claus, but he figured it out one Christmas season as we were all walking through a department store one evening.

“Look, Daddy,” said my youngest sister, who was about 4 at the time. She was pointing to the department store Santa with children in line to visit him. “There’s an old man dressed up like Santa Claus.”

We enjoyed Christmas stories — about Santa and Frosty and the Grinch, among others — but we knew they were fantasies. I was never told at home that Santa was real or that he wasn’t real. I just knew it was a fun story.

So why do so many people get angry about the question of kids and Santa?

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: christmas, parenting, Santa

How do we know when to quit? Persistence may be futile choice

By David McElroy · November 25, 2018

Inspirational quotes often give very bad advice.

In fact, if you want advice, I can find multiple pieces of folk wisdom or quotes from famous people to share with you — almost none of which would agree with the rest. I can give you folk wisdom about never giving up or I can give you folk wisdom about cutting your losses before they get worse. Which one is good advice?

Why is so much of our collective folk wisdom contradictory? And why does following some of this wisdom not seem to help us?

I’m thinking about this tonight because I ran across a quote which was attributed to Winston Churchill: “Never give up on something that you can’t go a day without thinking about.”

Is that good advice? I have no idea. I guess if you don’t give up on the thing and your persistence brings it to pass, it was great advice. But what if you spend years persisting — passing up other opportunities — in order to stick with something? If you end up with nothing, it was terrible advice and it leaves your miserable.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: love, persistence, wisdom

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Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

By the time I left the office about 5:30 p.m. Frid By the time I left the office about 5:30 p.m. Friday, some light rain from the approaching hurricane was starting to fall. It’s been completely cloudy in Birmingham all day because of the bands of clouds pushing north from the Gulf of Mexico. About halfway home, I noticed that the sky had suddenly started exhibiting this beautiful orange glow to the west. So even though it was far too cloudy for us to see a real sunset, the light was still colorful enough and bright enough to punch through at the horizon. So I stopped on the Cahaba River bridge on I-459 and caught this quick shot. Within just a couple of minutes, the clouds had covered up the color — and the rain started getting a bit harder. By morning, we should have howling winds and serious thunderstorms. Let’s just hope there are no tornados spawned by this storm in our area.
I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a few shots after I got home late Monday night. This one wasn’t great, so I’ll try again later, but I can use it until I have time to shoot another. I was too lazy to light this one properly — and it shows. 😺
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
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Critter Instagram

Meg was in terrible light inside the cave when I s Meg was in terrible light inside the cave when I shot this early Friday afternoon, so I had to edit the light to make this usable, but I loved her yawn, so I thought it was worth the time. She is coming to love this particular spot on the castle. I find her in there almost every morning lately.
When I came home just now, Oliver got into my lap When I came home just now, Oliver got into my lap and posed for a portrait with me. He was purring while he posed, so I think he’s happy to see me.
From the CritterCam: Alex is sound asleep in the c From the CritterCam: Alex is sound asleep in the cat bed on my desk, but he looks as though he’s self-consciously posing for the webcam at the same time. How does he do that?
Sam has taken over my desk chair in the office, so Sam has taken over my desk chair in the office, so I won’t be able to do any work in here for a while.
I just came home at lunch and found all four of th I just came home at lunch and found all four of the cats relaxing in the office. Meg was is one of the cave’s of the castle while Alex and Oliver was relaxing on other parts of the castle. Sam was in my office chair. So this little girl is fitting in more and more every day.
Meg has been playing with Alex late Wednesday nigh Meg has been playing with Alex late Wednesday night, which is exciting because I haven’t seen much play yet between Meg and the three boys. They were chasing each other a little bit earlier and now she’s inside a “cave” of the castle sticking her head out to see whether Alex might be on the level above her. This view makes her look much more like a kitten than I’ve ever seen from her before.
Alex posed for me on the bed Wednesday afternoon b Alex posed for me on the bed Wednesday afternoon before the sun disappeared for the day.
As I left the house early Tuesday afternoon, Olive As I left the house early Tuesday afternoon, Oliver was relaxing in the warm sunshine of an office window.
Late Monday night, Alex and Meg are having a quiet Late Monday night, Alex and Meg are having a quiet face-off on the bed. Neither is quite sure what to think of the other, even though Meg has been here for almost a month. They’re now all eating and sleeping in the same room, though, so she’s become part of the group.
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Here’s another reason to appreciate the cats in your life: New research involving 93 countries found that places with more cats per person also tended to have happier people. The researchers say the finding fits with previous evidence that living with pets can reduce loneliness and stress while providing companionship, emotional attachment and social support. The study doesn’t prove that cats cause greater happiness, but it certainly adds to the evidence that sharing your home — and your life — with a cat might be good for you.

The company that owns Facebook and Instagram is heavily promoting its new AI-based software assistant called Muse, but people who are using it as it was designed are incredibly foolish. An early adopter of the software discovered that a few days ago when he advertised an item for sale on Facebook Marketplace — and he inadvertently gave Muse full authority to act on his behalf. The software agreed to a lowball offer made by another Facebook user and then gave that man the home address of the man for whom he was an agent. The software told the buyer that the seller was home and waiting for him. When the buyer showed up and waited angrily, the would-be buyer left an angry review for the man. And this angry man had the seller’s home address. It was only well after that that the software reported what it had done and admitted it had made a mistake. I won’t be putting that much power into the hands of any software. I think anyone who agrees to such terms is a fool. And the software’s user agreement says you’re responsible for purchases the software makes in your name. Nope.

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

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