I wrote over the weekend about the folly of making lists of goals that you’re never willing to actually pursue. The comic strip Pearls Before Swine — which I consider one of the most brilliant and insightful pieces of art today — ran something Monday morning that paired perfectly with that. (See the complete strip here.) Goals are great. Some of our goals are really worth chasing. But we need a sense of priorities — and if we don’t have the love we need, all of our goals are useless, even if we achieve every one of them.
We learn lessons as we mature, but it’s usually too late by then
I’m not the same person I was when I was 25. I’m not even the same as I was 15 years ago. And I’m thankful for that.
Every now and then, I meet people who I knew years ago — in college or high school — and I can tell they haven’t changed inside. They’ve coasted through the years getting older — but not getting any wiser, as far as I can tell.
If you’re going to become wiser, it’s typically because you’ve done a lot of work on yourself. For me, therapy with a good psychologist was a catalyst for change. Before that, I’d gone through half a dozen bad therapists, which taught me to appreciate the good one I found. (My experience is that most of them get into it because they’re trying to fix themselves. And that wasn’t helpful for me.)
I’ve realized recently, though, that we rarely seem to learn the lessons we need to learn in time to stop us from stumbling into heartbreak. It seems that only by screwing up in big ways — which we’ll later regret — do we have those epiphanies which give us insight.
I was thinking Sunday afternoon about all the lessons I’ve learned from past relationships — and I realize that I didn’t learn those lessons in time to save myself from heartbreak each time.
UPDATE: Watch the channel intro for the upcoming DavidMcElroy.TV
If you can’t get enough of my face on video — or if you’re simply willing to tolerate my face — you’ll be happy to know that DavidMcElroy.TV is still on track to arrive soon.
When is “soon”? Well, soon. You know how you might tell children that Christmas is coming soon, but it’s still months away? It’s that kind of soon.
In the meantime, here’s a first look — click below if you dare — at the animated intro you’ll be seeing before you know it. The music might still change, this is what I’ve licensed for now.
Thanks very much to those who have been supportive with your emails and other comments. I appreciate you.

The free market: It’s not just for greedy, rich white capitalists
At life’s end, who we’ve loved will matter more than what we’ve owned
Something in us usually wants to believe next year will be different
Not having someone to hope for differs from pain of missing love
How can people who care really help the billions mired in deep poverty?
If we disrespect skilled trades, we’re ignorant and arrogant fools
Shock of seeing ‘Airplane!’ was realizing that I wasn’t all alone
Even when folks praise my work, my secret fear is I may be a fraud