My endorsement goes to the man who can make coercive state work

By David McElroy · November 13, 2011

Much to my surprise, people sometimes send me email to ask who I support for the Republican presidential nomination. I can only assume those people don’t read the site thoroughly, but I’m going to make an endorsement today — just for them.

What is it we want in a president? We want a person who will respect individual liberty across the board, someone who will end government intervention in the economy, someone who will pull U.S. troops back to our own states and use them only to defend that territory, and someone who will dismantle the social welfare state that has been built for the last 80 years or so. There are other details we want, but those are some broad strokes.

Taking the requirements of the job into account, I’m throwing my complete support behind that great, patriotic American named Mr. Nobody. That’s right. Without question, Nobody gets my endorsement.

Since Congress controls the laws that decide how much individual freedom we’re allowed to keep, the other candidates won’t respect our freedom. They can’t. They don’t make the laws. Nobody will respect our freedom.

Because Congress mandates that the executive branch control more and more aspects of our personal lives, the president isn’t allowed to decide to let the economy operate on its own. Obama can’t do that. Romney can’t do that. Not even Ron Paul can do that. Nobody can.

Because wars and the use of the military are so popular, Congress is going to insist that U.S. bases around the world continue to operate — inevitably angering someone in the countries where they’re located. Because building expensive weapons puts massive amounts of money into the pockets of the military-industrial complex — and employs a good number of people doing it — Congress will continue to buy that equipment. No president is going to be allowed to cut military spending. Obama doesn’t want to and couldn’t if he did. Romney and the leading Republican contenders are chomping at the bit already to invade Iran. They aren’t going to stop the foreign adventurism. Nobody can.

Since the programs of the “social safety net” (such as Social Security and Medicare) are so popular, Congress is going to continue to fund them. It’s not only going to continue funding them, but it’s going to pile on additional programs, no matter what the economic conditions are. Obama is dying to keep adding programs, so he’ll co-0perate in adding them. Romney and the other Republicans who have a chance of winning will give lip service to ending a few programs, but they don’t really want to end them. (Remember that Romney is the architect of RomneyCare in Massachusetts, which was the blueprint for ObamaCare.) None of the other candidates will end the social welfare state. Nobody can.

So now you know. The candidate to support is 2012 is Nobody. Let me spell it for you. That’s N-O-B-O-D-Y. If someone asks you who you’re for, just give them that one name and then realize that you’ve said all you need to say.

I’m voting for Nobody. I suggest you vote for Nobody. It’s the only pragmatic and moral choice.

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When I first told you about the project that would become DavidMcElroy.TV, I thought it would launch by mid-May. Since today is the last day of May — and I’m still not close to launching a finished product — here’s a brief update. The graphic above is the latest rough mockup of the format, but it’s still subject to change. Even the logo isn’t yet set in stone. Motion graphics are really difficult when you’re starting from scratch. Sunday night, my camera stopped recording, so it has to be sent off for repair. I have an older camera that I’ll keep using for testing, but I can’t launch without the better one. The audio system developed a low buzz this weekend that has me puzzled. I’ll be taking all the equipment over to the home of a local audio engineer who’s volunteered to help me figure out what I’ve done wrong. On top of all that, my on-camera performance seems to get worse with each test I do. There are days when I think I’m crazy to be attempting this. And in truth, I probably am insane to do it, but being crazy has never stopped me before. I’m at least a month away from launch and it could be a few months. Thanks for being patient — and thanks for all the support and enthusiasm for the project that you’ve sent my way.

I received the first dose of a COVID-19 vaccine Monday — and I’m happy to report that I’m neither dead nor a zombie controlled by Bill Gates and Co. Eligibility was recently opened in Alabama to everyone who’s 16 or older, so I signed up for the Pfizer vaccine at a site run by a local university. I know this is a political issue for a lot of people, but that honestly baffles me. We can disagree about whether such a vaccine should be mandatory — which I’m against — but as a voluntary choice, it seems like an easy choice now that it’s been safely given to millions of people. Is it a perfect preventative? Of course not. But the decision seemed obvious to me when looking at the statistics and evidence. I haven’t had any of the side effects that some people have experienced, but that’s supposed to be more of an issue after the second dose, which I’ll get on May 3. In the meantime, I’ll let you know if I grow a third arm — or if the secret microchip kicks in and someone starts trying to control me remotely. All kidding aside, getting the vaccine seems like a rational voluntary choice to me.

I get a lot of email from readers. Some of it is fascinating and useful. Some of it is full of confessions that people want to share with a stranger. Some people write to ask advice. What’s really surprising, though, is the small percentage that seems to come from mentally unbalanced people. When I started using the metaphor about being an alien — the tagline at the top of each page here — it never occurred to me that I’d start hearing from people who took it seriously. But every few months, I get a strange email — such as the one above from a few months back — from someone who seems to think I’m claiming to be an actual alien. The first time it happened, I laughed. By the time it became a semi-regular thing, I was simply appalled. For the record, I can provide no proof that I’m an alien, because … well … it’s just a metaphor. I do feel like an alien among human beings, but as far as I know, I’m just as earthbound as you are. It’s just a metaphor. Honest. Or at least, that’s what my lizard-beast overlords told me to say.

After Tampa Bay, Fla., musician Colt Clark had all of his gigs canceled last year for months on end, the entire family felt trapped at home as most of the world was on quarantine lockdown. His wife, Aubree, had an idea that would let Colt make music and involve the whole family in making music videos to share with their friends and family on Facebook. Aubree is a photographer and homeschooling mom to a daughter and two sons, who range in age from 6 to 11. After their friends started asking to share the videos, they made the performances public — and a few of them are now on YouTube, where they go by the name of Colt Clark and the Quarantine Kids. The younger son, Becket, is on drums. The older boy, Cash, plays keyboards, strings and guitars. Dad supplies lead vocals and plays guitar, while 6-year-old Bellamy mostly dances but sometimes does backup vocals. There’s even a dog who makes an occasional appearance. The Clark family has just raised the bar for what I need to create with my future children. And best of all, they seem to be having a great time together. I hope they make you as happy as they make me.

Have you ever wondered how the social media world works for so-called “influencers”? I find it comical, so I thought I’d share with you. I frequently get offers such as what I’m about to describe. And if I’m getting such offers — as a relative nobody in the online world — you can only imagine what people with huge audiences are offered. It starts with an email appealing to my ego: “We came across your online presence and we LOVE your style. We’d love to have you as one of our Brand Ambassadors. To celebrate our new [Brand Name] collection, we want to give you a FREE Watch so you can post a picture of you wearing it and drive more exposure to our brand.” Did you hear that? They love me. They want me to be seen wearing their cheap $59 watch so other people will think, “If this amazing influencer wears that, surely I should buy one.” They even offer me commissions on the watches sold from people clicking from my site. So the next time you see some alleged “influencer” touting something online or on social media, remember that this is what it’s probably all about. It’s laughable.

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