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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Life’s path can change direction when you’re ready for real love

By David McElroy · May 23, 2019

I didn’t recognize Walter when I saw him at a gas station last week. That’s understandable since I hadn’t seen him for 15 years, but there was something else — something more basic.

When I knew Walter, he was addicted to pills and alcohol. He lived down the street from me. He was unhappily married and had turned to substances to numb his pain. By the time his wife left him and they lost their home, he looked like a bum most of the time. I never knew what became of him.

The man who called out my name at the gas station looked nothing like a bum. There was something familiar about his eyes, but my memory couldn’t place him. I had to ask who he was.

After he told me, I smiled and shook his hand. He was sitting in a Mercedes looking like a business executive, not like a bum or an addict. We chatted for a couple of moments as I stood there, but I couldn’t ask the real question on my mind. He knew what I must be wondering, though.

“I guess I look a little different than the last time you saw me, huh?” he said with a smile.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: change, love, psychology, romance

Defense mechanism led me to repress unacceptable emotions

By David McElroy · May 19, 2019

I had never heard of the psychological concept of “reaction formation” until recently, but I’ve apparently been using this defense mechanism all my life.

Almost two weeks ago, I encountered the idea of reaction formation in a book about the psychology of personality. In a chapter about my personality type, the author discussed reaction formation as the central defense mechanism of the type. The first time I heard it, the idea went in one ear and out the other. It didn’t sound relevant to me.

But I listened to the chapter a couple more times. One day this past week, a painful insight hit me. It was something I didn’t want to see. All of a sudden, I saw with startling clarity how I had been using this obscure defense mechanism my entire life. This sudden insight explained a lot about my past.

And then suddenly, an even-more-powerful insight showed me how I was continuing to do the same thing today — and that’s something I definitely didn’t want to see.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: anger, enneagram, father, love, mother, personality, reaction formation

Your ignored mistakes quickly become impossible to change

By David McElroy · May 18, 2019

One of the great regrets of my father’s life was losing a woman by the name of Jackie when he lived in Pensacola, Fla., but I didn’t know that when we first visited her home when I was 11 years old.

He told us we were going to visit an old friend from his younger days, but he wasn’t specific. Jackie was expecting us and seemed happy to see us. I remember her as attractive, charming and gracious. But even though I was only 11, I could tell that there was an electricity between them that meant they had been more than just friends — and still felt something deeply for one another.

Her husband wasn’t home. We visited Jackie several times during the year we lived in Pensacola, but we never met her husband. I discovered that my father also visited her from time to time at her job, sometimes taking her to lunch. But it took me several years to piece together what had gone on between them about 18 years before.

Keep Reading

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  • ‘This path leads to somewhere I think I can finally say, I’m home’
  • When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: love, mistakes, psychology, romance

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Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
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Just after midnight, I’m working at my desk and Ol Just after midnight, I’m working at my desk and Oliver thinks he should help. The only light left in the office is from one desk lamp and the screen of my MacBook.
Alex has been asleep on my desk for most of the af Alex has been asleep on my desk for most of the afternoon. It just started raining hard, so he climbed out of his bed and walked to the other side of the desk so he could watch it rain through a window on that side of the room. He doesn’t look fully awake yet, though, so I suspect he’ll be back in bed in five minutes.
Sam is the only one of the three cats still awake Sam is the only one of the three cats still awake and hanging out either me in the bedroom just few minutes before 1 a.m. I continue to be very pleased with the progress he’s making in his long socialization process. It’s taken awhile.
Don’t make Alex mad. This is what he looks like wh Don’t make Alex mad. This is what he looks like when he pounces on you from above. Scary. 😃
Sam is still keeping an eye on the neighborhood as Sam is still keeping an eye on the neighborhood as sunset approaches Monday evening.
Oliver is “making biscuits” on my ample belly as h Oliver is “making biscuits” on my ample belly as he prepares to sit on my lap and interrupt my work — which I’m quite willing to allow except when I’m on a deadline.
Alex has shown no inclination to drag his lazy bon Alex has shown no inclination to drag his lazy bones out of bed so far today.
Sam was in his favorite window and then Oliver jum Sam was in his favorite window and then Oliver jumped up there with him. The ledge isn’t really big enough for two cats — especially when one of them is Oliver — but they’re sharing for the time being. A neighbor is cutting his grass Sunday afternoon and this seems pretty fascinating for the moment. This is a pretty good look at how much bigger Oliver is than Sam.
If you look at Oliver’s ears, you can tell that he If you look at Oliver’s ears, you can tell that he is still unhappy about the fireworks that have been going off in the neighborhood for most of the night. As soon as I got home, he wanted to be picked up and he started purring, but he was still wary about all the noise.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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