David McElroy

Where’s the line between pursuing love and asking for public humiliation? Author Rebecca Renner walked that line about four weeks ago — and she fell off onto the wrong side.

Renner did something straight out of a romantic comedy — the kind with an emotional and dramatic ending. On May 21, she told her 125,000 Twitter followers that she was about to take a big risk for love.

“Last night, a personal tragedy reminded me that life is uncertain and too [expletive] short,” Renner tweeted. “So I booked a plane ticket, and I’m about to fly across the country to tell the love of my life how I feel. Wish me luck! And don’t wait another day to tell those you love that you love them.”

There was an outpouring of support from people who followed her trip and excitedly awaited the outcome. A lot of people who’ve wanted a romantic story for themselves were eager to live through her boldness.

It wasn’t too long before Renner reported what happened — and her mood had changed. She posted the photo above with a brief report.

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There are some lessons that I have to keep learning over and over again. It seems as though those are the life lessons which constantly break my heart.

I’m an idealist at heart. I can’t help it. I want to believe the best of others. There’s an ideal world that I see in my mind. Everybody gets along. Everybody is reasonable. Nobody uses force to get his way. We’re all free individuals, understanding that others should be allowed to make their own voluntary choices.

But ugly reality keeps intruding on my idealistic visions. People don’t understand those who don’t think or look or act like them. They band together in primitive tribal groups to oppose one another. They’re willing to use force — even to kill others — to ensure that others obey what they believe is right.

That idealistic part of me grew up believing that I could use reason and persuasion to show others the value of what I believed. But I was wrong. The tribes hate each other. The last thing they’re interested in is understanding one another.

And I’m broken-hearted each time I realize this — and again when I understand what it means for my future.

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I just found out that an ex-girlfriend got married — and I’m jealous.

I haven’t spoken with her for a long time. Several years after we split, we reconciled enough to at least be “Facebook friends” for awhile. Then she told me she missed me and wanted to start talking on the phone again. But I said, “No.” Not long after that, she blocked me.

I hadn’t thought about her in a long time. We still have a mutual friend on Facebook and something about her came up there. (I’m not posting on Facebook these days, but I still have to log on every now and then to make changes regarding this page.)

Since I could see her account, she must’ve eventually unblocked me. But then I noticed she had a new last name. And there she was — still as strikingly beautiful as ever — standing in wedding photos with a new man.

I felt a stab of jealousy. Maybe envy is a better word. It’s hard to name it. And it’s even harder to explain it.

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