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I have intense feelings and I don’t have any choice but to share them. That’s just the way I’m wired. I love powerfully. I hurt deeply. I experience joy with open exuberance.

I don’t hide my feelings well. If you’re paying any attention at all, you know where you stand with me, because I wear my heart on my sleeve.

But there are times — very rare times — when everything feels numb. When that happens, it means that some part of me — maybe a little part or maybe a big part — has finally died after an extended period of intense pain. It happens without warning, although it’s always predictable in retrospect.

I went numb today. It feels like walking in a driving rainstorm without an umbrella — and not caring what anybody else thinks.

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My name ought to be mounted somewhere on this table, except for the fact that nobody but me would care, of course.

I’m sitting in a booth where I must have sat a thousand times before. It’s in a Whataburger restaurant in the Birmingham suburb of Trussville. Until I moved to a different suburb three years ago, this was my home away from home for many years.

When this place opened, it was the only restaurant near my house that was open 24 hours a day and had WiFi. Since I worked from home at the time and often welcomed the chance to get out, this became my second office. I was here at all hours of the day and night. All the employees knew me by name.

I have no reason to be over here today. I almost never come to this part of town anymore. But today is the second time recently that I’ve felt drawn to drive over here for no apparent reason. But I think I know why I’m here.

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I’ve started getting a lot of steamy email spam lately. The spam offers me no-strings-attached sex and all the pleasure I want. I’ve been fascinated by the marketing approach — because some percentage of men must find this attractive.

Helen recently uploaded some XXX pix that you need 2 see!! She lives in your area and is looking for a Man 4 a “One Night Stand”!!

Local Singles and Wild Milfs online 4 NSA Flings – Quick Sex Assured with as many Cheating Housewives as you Wish

No Strings Attached Sex, Perfect for One Night Stands. No Strings – No Distractions just Pleasures!!!

Some people are so scared of emotional vulnerability that sex is their only substitute — and they end up never understanding the difference. I assume those are the people who are clicking these links.

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