Valentine’s Day in this culture is all about love stories and feel-good fantasy. But what about those of us who don’t have love — those of us whose hearts are broken by need and emptiness?
For me, love has been closely associated with painful longing recently. I’m torn about what to think about this, because I feel something strongly that I perceive as the truth, but some psychologists and writers say that’s not healthy.
“Deep painful longing, yearning and craving are not characteristics of love,” writes Shari Schreiber, for instance. “If you think they are, you were emotionally programmed to believe this in childhood, when you couldn’t get your adoration for mother returned.”
If I’m deceiving myself about love, then our culture is filled with music from people who are similarly deceived by their longing. For Valentine’s Day, I’ve created a list of 10 songs that fall into that category. These aren’t songs about happy love. These are songs for those of us who are alone — and who are longing for love we can’t have.

Evil and idiocy stripping away veneer of western civilization
Words I wrote as idealistic teen suggest I’m still the same inside
When strangers tell us things we want to hear, we want to believe
Healthy partner will always ask, ‘Who do you really want to be?’
Something in us usually wants to believe next year will be different
Once you’ve found the right love, build your whole world around her
French president wants to ban homework as unfair to poor kids
Those Libyan ‘freedom fighters’ we paid for? They’re murdering thugs
What if Jesus was serious about commands he gave his followers?