• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to secondary sidebar
  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • YouTube

David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

  • About David
  • New here?
  • Reading
  • Video

relationships

Why do people who say they love each other cause mutual harm?

By David McElroy · June 24, 2018

When I came out of my front door with Lucy a few moments ago for a walk, I saw a car coming down the street, so we waited for it to pass. Instead, it stopped at a house across the street.

As Lucy and I stepped into the street to start our walk, the doors of the car sprang open — and the angry screaming of a man and woman hit us full force.

I haven’t heard this sort of angry confrontation in years. The vicious words and repeated profanity seemed even more jarring because the street was otherwise quiet and still and beautiful in the warm night air.

He kept calling her a “hoe” and said whatever she had allegedly done was the same thing she had done to someone else. She screamed right back at him. He was throwing her belonging out of the car into the street and yard — as he kept hurling vicious insults and profane words.

As Lucy and I walked in the other direction, I kept asking myself, “Why do we humans have to keep hurting each other like this?”

Keep Reading

Related Posts

  • When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone
  • Conflict pushes inner buttons to make me feel like child in trouble
  • Forget your partner’s best traits; worst traits predict your future

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: argument, conflict, men and women, relationships

She took an easy way to escape risk, but she’s left to deal with empty life

By David McElroy · June 16, 2018

I never thought I’d talk with her again, so it was a bit like talking to a ghost.

When I answered the phone, her voice sounded just as I remembered. For a brief moment, I went back and forth between feeling as though I was hearing a voice from another life and feeling as though I had just talked with her hours before. She felt completely alien to me — but she also felt intimately familiar.

I don’t know why she called. She said she didn’t even know. She suddenly needed to talk with me and she impulsively dialed my number.

She’s married now, but she used to love me. That’s what she said, anyway. I used to love her, but she hurt me by pulling away unexpectedly. With no warning or explanation, she changed course. She disappeared from my life and quickly married someone else. I never knew why and that hurt. I assumed it was some fault in me — something that would cause her to choose another man.

Now I finally know the truth — and the truth makes me sad.

Keep Reading

Related Posts

  • We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
  • ‘This path leads to somewhere I think I can finally say, I’m home’
  • When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: choices, love, marriage, personal history, psychology, relationships

Trip to Memory Lane reminds me some relationships deserve to die

By David McElroy · June 7, 2018

It was late Thursday evening and I was on the way back from showing a house to someone in the county south of Birmingham. On the way back, a traffic problem on I-65 meant I was routed through a suburb where I haven’t been in years. I found myself just a few blocks from the home of a woman I once dated — and I spent the next hour or so thinking about the past again.

I found myself wondering what I’d say to her if I ran into this woman in her neighborhood. What do you say to someone who you used to know intimately and then the relationship ends with an ugly screaming halt, leaving two people strangers in the future?

I hadn’t thought seriously about her in years, but I realized tonight that I wouldn’t want to rehash the past if I talked with her. I was very unhappy with the way our relationship ended, but I had given her reasons to be unhappy with me. I’ve blamed her for how things ended, but where do you draw the line? Do you mark the fault at how she handled things at the end? Or do you go back to my mistakes and blame me for creating the problems?

I suddenly realized it didn’t matter. I was grateful that she once loved me, but I was equally grateful that the relationship ended. Some relationships between two decent people need to end — and this had been one of them.

Keep Reading

Related Posts

  • We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
  • ‘This path leads to somewhere I think I can finally say, I’m home’
  • When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone

Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dating, love, psychology, regret, relationships

  • ⪡
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 6
  • Page 7
  • Page 8
  • Page 9
  • Page 10
  • ⪢

Primary Sidebar

My Instagram

This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
Follow on Instagram

Critter Instagram

When I got home from a walk just now, Alex wanted When I got home from a walk just now, Alex wanted some lap time, so he’s been in my arms purring for a few minutes now. He seems to be getting sleepy, though, so I suspect his little purr box will be running down soon.
Have you ever wondered what cats do when you’re no Have you ever wondered what cats do when you’re not home? What might they be hiding from you? Welcome to the secret neighborhood Cat Rave on Thomas Avenue. Just don’t let the humans know about it.
At 1:30 in the morning, Oliver has apparently foun At 1:30 in the morning, Oliver has apparently found the only bird who’s active in the neighborhood — and he is determined to keep a close eye on this fellow right outside this office window. If Oliver were an outdoor cat, this bird would be a goner.
I ran into this skittish bunny in the alley behind I ran into this skittish bunny in the alley behind a house that I’m trying to sell. I wonder if I should say that he comes with the house. 😺
From the CritterCam: I just heard unidentified sou From the CritterCam: I just heard unidentified sounds coming from the office just after 5 a.m., so I checked the camera to see what it showed. What I found appears to show Oliver, left, and Alex in the middle of aggressive play that happened to wander in front of the lens briefly. I have no idea what this was all about. 😺
I’m trying to work at my desk Friday morning, but I’m trying to work at my desk Friday morning, but Oliver and Alex seem to think the desk is for napping, not for working.
From the CritterCam: I just noticed the camera cau From the CritterCam: I just noticed the camera caught an image of me putting Sam back down on my chair as I left the house Thursday afternoon. I had picked him up briefly to rub his head and tell him goodbye for the day — and then I put him back where I’d found him.
Oliver has been sleeping in an office window Thurs Oliver has been sleeping in an office window Thursday afternoon, but he’s awakened long enough to do some Neighborhood Watch work.
It’s too bad Oliver can’t learn to relax, isn’t it It’s too bad Oliver can’t learn to relax, isn’t it? Here he is hanging out with me while we look out an office window at 1 a.m.
Follow on Instagram

Contact David

David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

Subscribe

Enter your address to receive notifications by email every time new articles are posted. Then click “Subscribe.”

Search

Donations

If you enjoy this site and want to help, click here. All donations are appreciated, no matter how large or small. (PayPal often doesn’t identify donors, so I might not be able to thank you directly.)




Archives

Secondary Sidebar

Briefly

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

A child having a tantrum understands only one thing: Did I get my way or not? He doesn’t understand the issues involved. He doesn’t understand the reasons that went into a decision. He doesn’t understand any of the things that mature and reasonable adults have to understand in order to live healthy lives. By his reaction to the U.S. Supreme Court’s ruling to strike down his disastrous tariff scheme, Donald Trump shows himself to be — once more — a screaming child having a tantrum. Outside the world of mob bosses who expect to get their way every time, normal adults don’t act this way, but Trump isn’t normal. He’s an angry and vengeful man who has narcissistic personality disorder. And we are in danger as a result. Trump doesn’t understand the legal issues involved in this ruling. He doesn’t understand economics. He doesn’t understand rule of law. He doesn’t understand that he can ever be wrong. All he understands is that he didn’t get his way. And he is now a narcissistic and raging little boy who also happens to hold life-and-death power over most humans on this planet. He’s dangerous — and the system which gives him that power is even more dangerous.

Read More

Crass Capitalism

Before you buy anything from Amazon, please click on this link. I’ll get a tiny commission, but it won’t cost you a nickel extra. The cats and Lucy will thank you. And so will I.

© 2011–2026 · All Rights Reserved
Built by: 1955 DESIGN