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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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How miserable does someone have to be to ‘troll’ a cute dog picture?

By David McElroy · April 30, 2019

I got home just past sunset Monday evening. I took Lucy out into the back yard and she ran around a bit. Then she ran over to me and looked up with this sweet expression. I had the camera with me, so I fired off about five shots. It was almost completely dark, so I didn’t expect to get much.

One of the shots was in focus, even though the shutter speed was a sixth of a second. She had stayed still for that instant and I had miraculously held the camera steady enough, so I got a good shot in the dim light. I’d gotten lucky.

After cropping and editing the picture as usual, I posted it to Facebook, Instagram and Reddit. Although it’s nowhere close to the best picture I’ve seen of Lucy — even lately — it was well-received, especially on Reddit.

But then the trolls started on Reddit. Although the vast majority of people loved the photo — and it had received more than 17,000 upvotes by 3 a.m. — there were a few bizarre people who were attacking me over the picture. Why? I still have no idea.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: dogs, internet, photos, psychology, social media, trolls

Social media can be dangerous for those of us raised by narcissists

By David McElroy · April 10, 2019

The scariest thing I’ve ever done is confronting the parts of myself which could have turned me into a malignant narcissist.

I’ve talked about this before. It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I even understood what clinical narcissism is. I had no idea the term applied to my father. I had no idea that growing up with a narcissistic parent damages children in predictable ways. I had no idea that many of those children turn into narcissists. And I had absolutely no idea that I was in danger of going down the same path.

Confronting that truth was painful and terrifying — and working my way through making changes was even scarier — but seeing the dysfunctional parts of yourself is always painful and terrifying.

I found that social media is the place that exposes many destructive narcissists — and I also found that social media is a dangerous minefield for those of us who are dealing with the fallout from having been raised by narcissists.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: narcissism, narcissistic personality disorder, psychology, social media

Public discourse is distorted by constant outrage over anecdotes

By David McElroy · March 28, 2019

If you want a nation to follow you, don’t convince them of your principles or policies. Just tell the public carefully chosen stories. Sell images.

Adolph Hitler did this well. His marketing consultants flooded Germany with pictures of a smiling Hitler and happy children. (In the picture above, Hitler is with a young Jewish girl named Rosa.) People saw these images of a benevolent leader with adoring children — and they found it easier to believe he was a good man they should follow.

Joseph Stalin did the same thing in the Soviet Union. Chinese communist dictator Mao Zedong did it, too. How could these men be cold-blooded murderers if they loved children and children loved them?

Unfortunately, the rest of us have learned the same techniques in this age of video storytelling. Our politicians sell themselves this way. Companies sell products this way. In the era of social media, we have adopted the same techniques to convince others that we’re right about whatever we believe.

But it’s something I don’t want to do anymore.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: anecdotes, argument, discourse, media, news, social media

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I apparently have way too much time on my hands. I I apparently have way too much time on my hands. I’ll let you know if any of the toy companies agree to pick this up as a featured toy for the upcoming Christmas season. Thanks, ChatGPT. 😺
Thunderstorms are just starting here, so I stopped Thunderstorms are just starting here, so I stopped on the way home — about a mile from my house — for some dramatic lightning photos. #nature #naturephotography #sky #lightning #night #thunderstorms #birmingham #alabama
This was the Friday evening sunset near my house a This was the Friday evening sunset near my house about half an hour ago. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
Lucy and I are taking her last walk of the day and Lucy and I are taking her last walk of the day and it’s just starting to rain lightly. The misting rain and low-lying fog that diffused the light from nearby street lamps give the night a magical feeling.
It seems as though the trees turned bare of their It seems as though the trees turned bare of their leaves almost overnight when I wasn’t paying attention. This is part of the neighborhood route that Lucy and I walk every night. #nature #naturephotography #sky #nightsky #iphone #birmingham #alabama
I love the way the sky looks over our heads tonigh I love the way the sky looks over our heads tonight as Lucy patrols the neighborhood for her final rounds of the day. #nature #naturephotography #sky #nightsky #clouds #iphone #birmingham #alabama
I’m recording video for a YouTube project late F I’m recording video for a YouTube project late Friday night and I just started thinking about how much different things in the studio look to me as compared to what video viewers see. The reality is that my home studio is just a room at my house that’s stuffed with lights and equipment (first shot), but when you look at what’s on the screen (second shot) you might assume I’m in a real studio somewhere. The only problem is that there are train tracks close to my house, so I have to shut down production whenever Norfolk Southern decides to send a freight train through my neighborhood. It’s amazing what is possible today that would have been impossible not that long ago.
The sky was beautiful above me as I walked out of The sky was beautiful above me as I walked out of Walmart just a few minutes ago. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama
It’s only 9:30 p.m. and I’m finally almost hom It’s only 9:30 p.m. and I’m finally almost home, but it feels more like midnight. I showed houses tonight and then had to deal with some tenant problems in a couple of rental houses. I think it feels so late simply because it’s starting to get dark earlier and I’m not accustomed to it yet. On a night such as this one — when I feel really tired — I feel as though my clothes and face are a work uniform. And I’m ready to take the uniform off and go off-duty for the night.
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Oliver relaxes on my desk late Sunday afternoon wh Oliver relaxes on my desk late Sunday afternoon while I write at my desk. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Late Sunday afternoon, Sam is watching a neighbor Late Sunday afternoon, Sam is watching a neighbor cut his grass, which is apparently quite suspicious in his eyes. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #blackcat #blackcats #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Lucy’s nightly appearance on her Neighborhood Wa Lucy’s nightly appearance on her Neighborhood Watch patrols have been enough to keep the area safe from criminals and other ne’er-do-wells for the 10 years we’ve lived here, so the bad folks are clearly terrified of her. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
After a couple of days of rain — including serio After a couple of days of rain — including serious thunderstorms this morning — Oliver is enjoying some sunshine in an office window Saturday evening. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Alex might be halfway to sleep for the night, but Alex might be halfway to sleep for the night, but he still likes attention enough to purr about it. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
I just came home to change clothes and found Olive I just came home to change clothes and found Oliver camped out on my desk watching the neighborhood. He was too focused on whatever he’s been watching to pay much attention to me this evening. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama #caturdayeve
As he hangs off the corner of my desk to survey th As he hangs off the corner of my desk to survey the office, it’s pretty clear just how productive a day Alex is having. His work is exhausting and he needs a weekend to recover. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #tabby #tabbycat #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
Alex hid underneath a t-shirt on the bed for a few Alex hid underneath a t-shirt on the bed for a few minutes — and Oliver wasn’t quite sure what to think about the situation until his tabby brother emerged. #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
A few minutes ago, I couldn’t find Sam anywhere. A few minutes ago, I couldn’t find Sam anywhere. Alex and Oliver were both in the bedroom, but they didn’t act as though anything was abnormal. I was starting to panic after looking for about 10 minutes when I finally saw two little eyes looking up at me from a pile of black clothes. The pile was roughly at waist level for me, so that meant when I glanced at the pile, I saw nothing but a big pile of black stuff. It wasn’t until I saw his eyes that I realized that Sam was part of that black “stuff.” #cat #cats #catstagram #catsofinstagram #cute #cutecat #blackcat #blackcats #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instacat #ilovecats #birmingham #alabama
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A state legislator in Maine has been stripped of the ability to speak in the state Legislature — and her votes are not being counted on legislative issues — all because she made a truthful social media post. Rep. Laurel Libby (R-Auburn, Maine) opposes allowing boys to compete against girls’ teams in school athletics and she’s become known for making an issue of it. On Feb. 17, she posted on Facebook about a recent example that she found outrageous. She posted side-by-side photos of a boy named John who competed last year in a state track event and won fifth place against other boys two years ago — and a photo of the same boy (now called Katie) who won first place in the same event this year against girls. Whether you find this outrageous or not, Libby is clearly being honest and truthful about the objective facts of an issue of public importance. But the state Legislature censured her. Democrats decreed that she could not speak in the House and that her votes would not count on legislation — until she apologized for the outrage of telling the truth. She refused and her constituents have been unrepresented in the state House since then. The people who promote this ideology are out of touch with reality and won’t rest until they force the rest of us to join them in this delusion. But even if you agree with “trans” ideology, you should be appalled at this heavy-handed attack on political speech.

The late Steve Jobs was at the center of our culture’s transition from analog to digital. He co-founded Apple Computer. He led the team that revolutionized personal computing with the first Macintosh. As CEO of Apple, he led the development of the iPhone and later the iPad. You would think the children of such a man would be surrounded by technology. But Jobs and his wife Laureen didn’t let their children use iPads. Their home had few screens of any kind. Even though Jobs spent most of his time developing and selling Macs and iPhones and iPads, he was home with his wife and children for dinner when he was in town. The family ate together at a simple wooden table in their kitchen — and there were no digital devices or focus on popular culture. Instead, he’s said to have guided his family toward deep discussions of art, philosophy and education — with no iPads to be found. If the man who guided the development of such products chose a different path for his own children, does that suggest that his digital experience taught him that children need human connection, not screens? And does it suggest the possibility that we might be better off if we made the same choice for our families?

For four years, Donald Trump’s supporters screamed that everything that went wrong was the fault of Joe Biden. They were sometimes right and they were sometimes delusional. (Anybody who knows me understands that I can’t stand Biden any more than I can stand Trump, just for different reasons.) But for two months, Trump has rampaged through U.S. political life — vandalizing pretty much everything in sight — and the vast majority of his supporters are silent at best. Many watch as he blows up the world economy and they make excuses for him. They’re in absolute denial, even about things that Trump is doing very intentionally. Anybody who understands economics and history knows that tariffs are a terrible idea from a pragmatic point of view. Anybody who values individual freedom knows that tariffs are massive taxes on individuals — and they’re a tool of political control over the ability of people to trade freely. Trump is the antithesis of everything which political conservatives stood for just a few years ago. It’s far past time for people who claim to be conservatives to reclaim the principles and values which they used to claim — and stop this mad man before he can accelerate the day when we experience economic and social collapse. Open your eyes to reality and reject this lying narcissist.

On a live awards show Sunday night, one man made a joke about a female celebrity. The husband of the celebrity was offended and hit the man who made the joke. Or maybe it was staged for entertainment. Who knows? Who cares? Social media is full of discussion — and even arguments — about this idiocy today. This baffles me. Let’s assume for a moment that the event happened as reported. People have been having such idiotic fights ever since there have been humans. Half the bars in the world see such brief dustups regularly. It simply doesn’t matter. The fact that so many people believe they need to talk about this — or even need to have opinions about it — is more evidence of the bizarre media brainwashing that convinces many to care passionately about brain-dead trivia. Your life will be happier and saner if you focus on yourself, your family and your friends, not on whatever scripted (or spontaneous) bilge that the media wants to pipe into your home.

I’m in the middle of migrating this website to new servers this week. This means you might encounter some unexpected behavior until I get all the bugs worked out. Clicking on my links (including this one) might cause your browser to give you the message that it’s a site without a current security certificate. It’s not actually unsafe, but there’s something which isn’t yet set up for the security certificate. I apologize for any such errors you might encounter while the process is going on. If you notice any problems with content which didn’t migrate properly, I would appreciate you letting me know the details at davidmcelroy@mac.com. Thanks for your patience.

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