I have trouble giving up on people.
It’s not just people, though. It’s more accurate to say I have trouble giving up on whatever fantasy of the future that I’ve created in my mind. Sometimes that involves people. Sometimes it’s an achievement I’ve set my heart on. It can be any fantasy of what I think my life is going to look like.
I fall in love with my fantasies, I suppose. My life will be perfect when I make this thing happen. Everything will be perfect when this woman loves me and we live happily ever after.
And when I figure out that I’ve been chasing the wrong thing, I have trouble letting go of it. I have trouble saying that this thing is never going to happen. It’s hard for me to admit that maybe the thing I’ve been chasing was never good for me anyway.
When I stubbornly cling to dreams that are already dead, I sometimes allow myself to miss better opportunities. I sometimes mope so much about what I can’t have — even something I’ve decided isn’t good for me — that I miss better choices.
It’s been very difficult for me to stop watering dead flowers.

Bureaucrats will find a way to punish you, so don’t make ’em mad
Not having someone to hope for differs from pain of missing love
The pounding rain from the storm brought me warmth, light and love
I often need this warning label: ‘Does not play well with others’
Obama’s delusion about ‘explaining’ illustrates all-too-common narcissism
Evil media bias? It depends on which lens you’re looking through that day
A year later, my father’s death looms large, but I have no regrets
Dead man’s watch always there to remind me of my own mortality
Choose the person you don’t want to spend your life without