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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Some of us feel rage at authority, even as disobedience can hurt us

By David McElroy · April 23, 2018

My first full-time boss was the stupidest man alive.

When I changed jobs the next year, my new boss took the title from him. He was even more ridiculous and infuriating. He was a moron with no judgment. My third boss was stupid in different ways. He made me bristle at his asinine decisions. Why was someone like this giving me orders?

It wasn’t until the next boss — my fourth — that it finally dawned on me. Maybe they weren’t the problem, at least not entirely. Maybe I just have a problem with authority.

August Landmesser had a problem with the Nazi Party. His refusal to salute Adolph Hitler in 1936 — when the entire crowd around him was doing so — is now considered a popular example of resistance to authority.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: authority, family, narcissism, psychology

My father’s embezzling started and ended my media company

By David McElroy · April 21, 2018

Even though it was a life-changing moment, my father delivered the news to me casually — as though it was no big deal. We were in the middle of a conversation about something entirely different.

“By the way,” he said with no warning, “there won’t be any more money.”

I didn’t know what he meant, so I asked what he was talking about. He said he wouldn’t be able to invest any more money in my small startup newspaper company. This floored me, because he had promised a lot more money. I had had no reason to doubt him, so I wasn’t prepared.

My ex-wife and I had launched a weekly newspaper for Birmingham’s affluent southern suburbs. My father had unexpectedly offered to finance the project. It was hard to pin him down about exactly how much money he would invest, but he repeatedly told me not to worry. So I spent the first year building a newspaper that local people loved to read. But now he was telling me there was no more money. No warning. Not a penny more. No explanation.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: business, crime, dysfunctional family, narcissism

I feel anger and hurt, but I mostly wonder how I came from this man

By David McElroy · April 20, 2018

After three days of rather detached and clinical responses to my father’s death, I’ve finally had a tremendous flood of emotions about him tonight.

I’m angry. I’m hurt. I’m filled with rage. I don’t have adequate words to describe how shaken I am.

I picked up his last worldly possessions late Friday afternoon. He had little enough remaining that it all fit into his car, a white 2001 Toyota Avalon. I drove home with something like a sense of dread. The people with whom he had been living told me they had gone through his things — looking for a will or something that might give instructions about his wishes — and discovered journal entries and letters which I would find interesting. I haven’t looked for those yet.

But when I got home, I started his old MacBook Air. What I’ve found so far makes me sick.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: death, family, narcissism

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Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
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From the CritterCam: At 4 a.m., Alex is wide awake From the CritterCam: At 4 a.m., Alex is wide awake in his bed just watching the webcam in the pitch black office — as though he’s knows I’m checking on him in the dark.
When I got back home just now, Oliver was eager fo When I got back home just now, Oliver was eager for some lap time.
I just told Alex that I need to go out for a littl I just told Alex that I need to go out for a little while, but he doesn’t seem to have accepted the message so far. He likes having me as a giant pillow.
Sam has been in a side window of the office for mu Sam has been in a side window of the office for much of the afternoon watching blue skies and sunshine, but just as soon as I took this, there was a clap of thunder and then heavy clouds quickly rolled in. Now he’s watching rain and everything’s pretty dark instead. He seems happy either way, because he’s not out in the rain.
I just got home from work and found Oliver in an o I just got home from work and found Oliver in an office window watching the sky outside slowly get dark before sunset.
I found a photo of Lucy and me late last night tha I found a photo of Lucy and me late last night that I had never actually seen. About five years ago, I took a tripod out to an area near where we live and tried some pictures with a timer. When I looked at them on the computer afterward, they were too dark, so I just ignored them and figured I’d try again. I never got around to doing it again, so I finally pulled those old files last night to see if I could make any of them usable. It’s not perfect, but this one is priceless now — since I’ll never be able to try it again.
From the CritterCam: At 4:30 a.m., Alex is just ca From the CritterCam: At 4:30 a.m., Alex is just casually checking out the world around him in the pitch-black office. He’s a cool cat. 😺
From the CritterCam: Oliver seems to be getting so From the CritterCam: Oliver seems to be getting some sleep while I’m away from the house Tuesday night. When I’ve checked the camera, I’ve seen Alex skulking around the bed, too, as though he’s waiting for his chance to steal the spot.
Oliver is back in my lap Tuesday night, kneading h Oliver is back in my lap Tuesday night, kneading his paws in and out in the motion we typically call “making biscuits.” He seems sleepy, so I might be trapped here for a bit.
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David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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