When I was a little boy, the wait for Christmas each year seemed to take forever. Even in the summer — or even after school had started back in the fall — the weeks until Christmas went by at a snail’s pace.
If you can remember being a child — and dreaming about what you might get for Christmas or whatever holiday your family celebrated — you probably remember feeling the same way.
When you’re 5 years old, the time until another Christmas represents 20 percent of the time you’ve been alive. That might as well have been forever back then.
When I thought about what I would be in the future — when I got old enough to start having oversized ambitions for myself — my life seemed to stretch to eternity. My parents had lived half their lives. My grandparents have lived most of theirs. But I had forever to become what I was meant to be.
For the first time in my life, I feel a clock ticking. I no longer have forever. I have decades left in which I can live and love, but the years are flying by. The time from one Christmas to the next is now a blur.
I still have plenty of time, but it’s no longer forever. And for the first time in my life, I’m feeling a fear I’ve never known. What if I don’t find the love and the life I’ve always needed?

FRIDAY FUNNIES
Illusions we project for others allow us to remain hidden inside
New year is great time to resolve to cut toxic folks out of your life
If you need vacation from spouse, maybe you married wrong person
Goodbye, Thomas (2006?-2023)
Major parties compete to see who can tell the biggest lie about jobs
I’ve now launched a new podcast about search for love and family
The Alien Observer: I’m not going to change — and you’re not, either