When I was young, I wanted to be great. I wanted to be important, successful and powerful. I wanted to be put onto a pedestal, where I could get the adulation and approval I craved.
I wouldn’t have put it that way then, of course. I just thought I wanted the things my culture presented as normal goals for someone like me. (I understand now the degree to which being raised by a narcissistic father left me craving approval and attention.)
As I’ve gotten more emotionally healthy and psychologically mature, I’ve been surprised to find out that my desires in life have changed. It’s not that I’ve “given up.” It’s not that I’m settling for something easy after failing to achieve things I wanted.
My desires today are healthier and far more likely to make me happy. You see, I want to be ordinary. I want to be a good man. I want to be kind and loving and content with the joy of living an ordinary human life.
But I’ve recently discovered a fascinating paradox. As an ordinary man, I won’t have the things this world and our culture have always promised me. I won’t have wealth or power or adulation. But it turns out that the people who gain what the world and our culture promise won’t have what I have.
They won’t have the peace and contentment and joy of a man who’s living a simple and ordinary life.

Freedom of the press is for everyone, not just those recognized by feds
What if the best you can offer to someone will never be enough?
Why do humans run away from things we really need the most?
When the night is dark and quiet, my open heart expects a miracle
Will you uncover your blind spots? Or will you ignore red flags again?
‘Dad, is there really a Santa Claus?’ Should we lie to kids or tell truth?
‘Good enough’ isn’t enough if you want a relationship that will last
I’ve always done my best work when I’m allowed to fix things
Why is it ‘isolationism’ to oppose killing those who didn’t attack us?