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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · May 25, 2012

In honor of the publication of an ebook of cat cartoons by my cartoonist friend, Tom Briscoe, all of today’s funnies are related to cats. I also recommend you take a look at Tom’s lighthearted $2.99 Kindle ebook, “99 Reasons to Hate Cats.” Whether you love ’em or hate ’em, you’ll find plenty in there to recognize and chuckle about, especially if you’ve lived closely with felines.

If you’ve ever seen a cat carefully studying a jump for awhile before executing the maneuver, you might wonder what’s going through his mind. Now you know.

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Clueless Obama attacks profit motive in Mitt Romney’s business career

By David McElroy · May 25, 2012

Barack Obama seems determined to make profit a dirty word. In attacking Mitt Romney’s business background, he’s making it clear that he has contempt for the free market that created the long-term national prosperity that he’s spent nearly four years helping to destroy.

Speaking in Iowa Thursday, Obama spoke of private equity firms — such as Bain Capital, Romney’s former company — as having motives other than job creation, as though that’s a bad thing.

“The people who work in these firms will tell you [job creation is] not their goal,” Obama said. He added that the companies’ goal is “maximizing short-term gains for your investors. There may be value for that type of experience but it’s not in the White House.”

Let’s review this. It’s business that generates the wealth of the nation on a long-term basis. Right now, business is in serious trouble, partly because of mistakes made by the business community, but even more so because of government interference that’s destroying the economy and manipulating markets. And even though the country desperately needs business to rebound and start growing again — as Obama would be the first to admit — he is clueless enough to claim it’s a liability for a presidential candidate to have experience in the private sector with making money? Is he insane or just dishonest?

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Two sets of rules: One for the public and a very different set for police

By David McElroy · May 24, 2012

As I was approaching the ramp to get onto I-59 in Birmingham Wednesday, I noticed in my rearview mirror that there was a police car behind me. I don’t know about you, but I start worrying a bit while they’re behind me. Is it past time to renew my tag? Do I have a tail light out? What’s the speed limit on this little road?

I was hoping he wasn’t turning onto the interstate, so I was watching his turn signal in my mirror to see if it came on. It never did — but he turned behind me anyway. Part of the way down the ramp, the asphalt widens, but the lane for the interstate hasn’t started, so you’re supposed to stay on the ramp. He didn’t. Part of the way down the ramp, he floored his engine and went around me, going through the striped lines you’re supposed to stay away from.

In the time I could still see him, he impatiently tailgated a car and then passed it way too close to a car in the other lane. He lost me after that, but it doesn’t really matter what he did. He has a gun and a badge, so he can do whatever he wants.

Have you ever noticed how flagrantly many police officers violate the traffic rules we’re supposed to obey? I routinely see them speeding (without emergency lights), tailgating and failing to use turn signals. There’s one set of rules for us, and there’s another set for them. Is there any wonder that more and more people are losing respect for police?

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When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
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Alex and Oliver have very different approaches to Alex and Oliver have very different approaches to getting ready for a big face-off with one another. Here’s about a minute of the boys acting like sumo wrestlers circling each other looking for an opening to attack. Nobody won tonight.
I just found this lovely photo of Lucy from almost I just found this lovely photo of Lucy from almost 10 years ago. In October 2016, she hadn’t even been with me for a full year yet and she was experiencing her first autumn in my back yard. Every sound fascinated her and every moment turned her into a wannabe bloodhound. It was nine months ago today when I lost her — and I still miss her every day. She was really special.
Since Alex has been asleep on my desk as I’ve work Since Alex has been asleep on my desk as I’ve worked for most of the day, I just told him he had to wake up and help with the work. He just gave me a gigantic yawn — which looked a bit mocking to me — and then went back to sleep instead.
From the CritterCam: At 5:30 a.m., the webcam seem From the CritterCam: At 5:30 a.m., the webcam seems to catch Oliver warming up the lasers in his bionic eyes. 😺
Someone just asked me about a cat I used to have w Someone just asked me about a cat I used to have who was almost all white, so I sent her a couple of pictures, so this seems like a good excuse to share photos of Amelia. The black cat with her in the second photo was named Dagny. Both of them have been gone for many years. I found Amelia in a restaurant parking lot as a kitten and I found Dagny underneath a trash dumpster as a kitten.
Alex and Oliver are chasing one another around the Alex and Oliver are chasing one another around the house, but Sam is just lying on the bed watching them — looking as though he thinks he’s the only one here who’s sane enough not to waste his energy. Personally, I think he’s right about that.
From the CritterCam: Nobody could ever say that Al From the CritterCam: Nobody could ever say that Alex doesn’t know how to relax. He’s quite a cool customer — until another human has to come into his house, of course. 😺
About half an hour before sunset Saturday, Alex is About half an hour before sunset Saturday, Alex is relaxing in the same office window where he was when I got home Friday evening.
At 2 a.m., Oliver is purring in my lap, but he jus At 2 a.m., Oliver is purring in my lap, but he just heard one of the cats — we can’t tell which one — jump to the floor in the next room, so he has he eyes intently on the door to see if one of them is about to come to the bedroom and become his late-night prey.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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