I couldn’t get the attention and approval that I needed from my narcissistic father. I craved his attention and approval when I was a child — and I kept craving those things from him as an adult. If someone had suggested this to me 15 years ago, I would have denied it. I just wouldn’t have been able to accept that I still needed the approval that I never got when I was young.
When I was growing up, I received a lot of attention and praise from other people. I was a very high achiever as a child. I did receive attention and approval from many other people over the years for the things I did, but I felt like a fraud — as though I didn’t deserve it — all because he would not give me the approval I was seeking.
Every time I got recognition or praise or awards, I had one eye on him — and I was silently asking whether this one would finally be good enough for him.
This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in reaching others with the videos.) Or you can watch the most recent video below.

FRIDAY FUNNIES
The world becomes magical when the right person says, ‘I love you’
How could we take responsibility but avoid self-destructive shame?
Just give us fake, happy smiles; who wants to hear your feelings?
My pride and insecurity make it difficult for me to live in humility
Thirst for love and understanding drives all of us until it’s quenched
Fear of terrifying future makes heart look to the past for clarity
Once you taste what is possible, you can’t accept being ‘normal’
Looking for truth in random noise? Or is there meaning for me in this?