At every stage of my life, I’ve raged against authority — because my father made me so terrified of being controlled — but I’ve also begged for someone to give me permission to pursue what I wanted.
I needed some authority’s approval and permission, but I was angry that I didn’t feel as though I could just stand on my own. Every time I’ve wanted to throw myself into some project — such as a new business — I’ve felt as though I was paralyzed — until someone gave me permission.
After all these years, I’ve still been unconsciously waiting for my father to give me permission to be myself.
This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.

THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Oliver, the furball who taught me to love cats
France’s new Socialist president wants same things Obama does
The things we regret the most show us what we really value
How can we be lonely while we’re surrounded by billions of people?
Rational rules don’t apply when the state gives itself a monopoly
Life-threatening accident for child puts my tiny problems into context
Is anyone surprised at gridlock of congressional ‘super committee’?
We all live with a death sentence, but we act as if we’ll live forever