I don’t know why the image came to my mind while I slept. I hadn’t seen the photo for years, but I immediately knew what it was.
We were somewhere in the Caribbean on a cruise. At sunset one evening, we were on an upper deck enjoying the colors and the wind and the waves. Someone offered to take a photo of us and snapped this impromptu image. And for some reason, my mind brought this old photo to my consciousness while I slept.
As I awakened — with this image burned brightly into my mind — I heard some words very clearly. In my sleepy state, I made a quick note on my iPhone:
“Nobody’s ever good enough if perfection is the standard.”
I knew what it meant. I also knew I would think about it a lot more later. But I felt a sense of peace about it as I went back to sleep. Something in my unconscious was trying — once again — to teach me a lesson. It wasn’t really about her, though. It was about me.
It was about my terror of not being perfect — and about how my fears have affected women who’ve tried to love me.

Sweet love story or tale of a sucker? Your bias creates narrative for you
Minnesota protects its citizens from the horrors of free education online
Mass. principal cancels honors night so losers won’t have hurt feelings
Unexpected phone call can turn world from happy to miserable
Out-of-touch Keynesians still think ‘digging ditches’ is a good idea
Experimentation produces beauty that won’t come from slavishly following One True Way
What did you want in childhood? Did you abandon those dreams?
NOTEBOOK: If results confuse Paul’s aides, how competent are they?