As I read aloud from the book, I could tell that my girlfriend was increasingly upset by what she was listening to. It was nearly a decade ago and my then-girlfriend and I had been learning more about ourselves by working our way through a personality system called ANSIR. I was reading a section of a book which discussed a long-term pairing of her type and my type.
“Then we don’t have any chance, do we?” she said with tears in her eyes once I finished.
I was at a stage in our relationship when I thought we probably should split up. For me, the book was just pointing out obvious problems between us that needed work. In a way, I was letting this book guide us toward the breakup that I thought I wanted and that I thought was right.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation lately and about a lot of the discussions she and I had during that period. Was I right in believing that our personality differences were driving our problems? Was she right in concluding we had no chance because of what the book said about our core differences?

When people identify with their masters, freedom is hard to accept
Unexpected proposal leaves me pondering my craving to be loved
Watching a friend’s happy family makes me feel pangs of jealousy
Shock of seeing ‘Airplane!’ was realizing that I wasn’t all alone
Without meaning, most are blind to rot destroying their own lives
Who needs due process? Kangaroo court gets power to kill citizens
We can’t agree what intelligence is, but it defines some of us
Trump apologists hope you don’t even know about the golden calf
What would you say if you could talk with your 12-year-old self?