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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · December 9, 2011

As Christmas approaches, these guys are having to set aside their search for self-discovery, but this is what they do in the off-season. (Click this one for a bigger size.)

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Industrial age relic: Do companies pay for your time or your brain?

By David McElroy · December 9, 2011

When I started work as a newspaper reporter many years ago, I had to clock in and out every day if I expected to be paid. Just like many millions of people, I was paid for my time, not my output. I never understood why.

When I was a teen-ager and first started cutting lawns to make money, I quickly discovered that people wanted to pay me an hourly rate. I used to gently push for a different arrangement. I wanted a flat fee for the service, because I felt that the hourly rate punished me for working harder and faster. Sometimes my clients agreed, but many held out for an hourly rate, so I was stuck having to make sure I didn’t work too fast and thus cheat myself. I hated it.

The obsession with paying people for their time is a relic of the industrial age, when human labor was considered just another interchangeable part of an industrial machine. (The idea that any hour of labor should have the same worth as another hour of labor was also an important cornerstone of Karl Marx’s thought.) The idea might have made sense in an age when people were treated like gears in machines. It has no place in a world where brains are more valuable than brawn.

I came across software today that is something like a modern version of the time clock for people who work for companies from home or other locations. The software is called Odesk. It’s installed on your computer and it takes screenshots of whatever you’re doing at six times each hour. It records the movement of your mouse. It can even record keystrokes to figure out what you’re doing. If your six screenshots show work apparently taking place, you get paid. If one of your screenshots shows something other than work, you give up one-sixth of your hour’s pay.

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Want to return to a simpler world? Say ‘goodbye’ to cheeseburgers

By David McElroy · December 8, 2011

It’s popular today to complain about our complicated and interconnected world and to yearn for simpler days. I’ve certainly felt that way at times. But I think we sometimes forget that we can’t have the things we want unless the world is complicated and interconnected.

There’s a famous essay published in 1958 by Leonard Read called “I, Pencil,” which explains where a pencil comes from — and how many people are required to produce a simple pencil. I read something today that considers a more modern example. Waldo Jaquith wrote earlier this week about the impracticality of a cheeseburger until modern times.

If you want a cheeseburger today, you can probably go to a dozen places within shouting distance of your home or office and get one pretty cheaply. But if you’d lived before the days of modern transportation and refrigeration and all the other things that make a cheeseburger possible, you wouldn’t have found one. It wasn’t that it technically impossible. It was simply that it was so difficult that it would have required tremendous resources to duplicate what we get cheaply today.

I’m not going to retell what made Jaquith start thinking about it. His piece is short and worth reading. Take a look for yourself. And remember it the next time you start longing for a simper life. You can have a simple world if you want it, but there are going to be a lot of tradeoffs. You might gain some things, but you’d give up even more. It’s worth thinking about what modern technology has brought us.

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This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
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Critter Instagram

When I got home just now, I couldn’t find Alex at When I got home just now, I couldn’t find Alex at first, but then I saw the tip of an ear sticking out from the top of the castle’s top level. When I got up to his level — up by the ceiling — I found an extremely lazy boy who was already bedded down for the night just before midnight. He didn’t even tell me good night.
When I got home just now, the lights were off in t When I got home just now, the lights were off in the office, so the only light illuminating Sam in an office window came from the streetlights outside.
It’s nice to have a little gray boy who always wan It’s nice to have a little gray boy who always wants lap time. I just came back home and picked up my MacBook to do some work, but Oliver insisted that he get my lap first for a few minutes. In the shot, most of his body is in my lap and he’s hanging over my left arm as he lies there purring.
From the CritterCam: It’s only mid morning Saturda From the CritterCam: It’s only mid morning Saturday, but Alex has already given up on the day. He’s going back to bed. That sounds like a great idea.
From the CritterCam: Around 4:30 a.m., Alex was ha From the CritterCam: Around 4:30 a.m., Alex was having an adventurous night in his bed, but he didn’t seem to be getting much sleep. 😺
I posted a photo Friday evening of what Oliver loo I posted a photo Friday evening of what Oliver looked like when he was jumping from my shoulder, but I probably should have included this shot. This is what he had been doing before he jumped onto my shoulder. The jumping pictures were about three minutes after this one.
When Oliver sits on my shoulder at a window, he of When Oliver sits on my shoulder at a window, he often reaches the point that he realizes he’s had enough of sitting on that narrow spot and he suddenly looks for the closest surface onto which to jump. I finally got a picture of this just now. I came home and he was eager for me to pick him up, but after looking out the window with me for a minute, he suddenly decided to jump — and I caught these two images of his leap. I love the second one.
Oliver woke up when I came home just now, but he d Oliver woke up when I came home just now, but he didn’t seem inclined to get out of the hanging basket. When I changed clothes and sat down in the bedroom, though, he was jumping up into my lap.
From the CritterCam: I’m not home, but it appears From the CritterCam: I’m not home, but it appears that Alex tried to wake up and even get out of his bed, but the effort was too great, so he gave up halfway and went back to sleep.
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It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

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