When I saw a friend tonight, she called me over with a conspiratorial look on her face. She looked around to make sure nobody else was listening. She wanted my opinion.
She told me she’s met a new man. She was excited about it. Almost giddy. I asked the typical questions about the man and where they met. She eagerly told me how much happier she is to have him to talk with as they’re getting to know each other.
She sounded like a 16-year-old who had just discovered love.
There’s only one problem. My friend is married. It’s a terrible marriage. They still live in the same house — with children — and there’s been a lot of talk about divorce. But she’s definitely — legally and firmly — still married.
It’s not my place to lecture someone about doing what’s right. She asked for my opinion, but I don’t think she really wanted it. I think she just wanted tacit permission to do what she wanted to do.
I outlined the issues as I saw them. I told her that if she wanted to pursue someone else, she owed it to everyone involved to finish dealing with her current situation. Otherwise, she was just going to be multiplying the drama and the stress in her life.
“You already know what to do,” I told her. “You don’t need me to tell you what’s right.”
“But this is what I want,” she said. “It makes me happy.”
I never wanted to be ‘cool,’ but I wanted people to understand me
Love & Hope — Episode 14:
My unconscious choices on love say much about women and me
Appeals to ‘common sense’ are frequently excuses to avoid thinking
Too many voices with little to say: Politics matters less and less to me
A childhood belief haunts me: unless I’m perfect, I’m unloved
Ignore the happy face it presents: Coercive state points a gun at you
After years of wasting my life, sands of time are slipping away
Nightmarish dreams mean dead can continue to play mind games