When I was a little boy, the wait for Christmas each year seemed to take forever. Even in the summer — or even after school had started back in the fall — the weeks until Christmas went by at a snail’s pace.
If you can remember being a child — and dreaming about what you might get for Christmas or whatever holiday your family celebrated — you probably remember feeling the same way.
When you’re 5 years old, the time until another Christmas represents 20 percent of the time you’ve been alive. That might as well have been forever back then.
When I thought about what I would be in the future — when I got old enough to start having oversized ambitions for myself — my life seemed to stretch to eternity. My parents had lived half their lives. My grandparents have lived most of theirs. But I had forever to become what I was meant to be.
For the first time in my life, I feel a clock ticking. I no longer have forever. I have decades left in which I can live and love, but the years are flying by. The time from one Christmas to the next is now a blur.
I still have plenty of time, but it’s no longer forever. And for the first time in my life, I’m feeling a fear I’ve never known. What if I don’t find the love and the life I’ve always needed?

How could we take responsibility but avoid self-destructive shame?
FRIDAY FUNNIES
Why do I suffer deep alienation when I fear I’m misunderstood?
We will destroy ourselves if we don’t learn to love our enemies
Why are so many of us afraid of the love and happiness we want?
What if people don’t really care about understanding each other?
Visit with high school best friend leaves me pondering my old fears
If you care about education — not just schooling — please read this paper right now