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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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FRIDAY FUNNIES

By David McElroy · March 9, 2012

Weight loss is tough for anybody, but consider the poor snowball who decides to get athletic. I wonder how many of our weight loss methods are similarly counterproductive.

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‘Conservative’ GOP governors forget principles when their state involved

By David McElroy · March 9, 2012

In an effort to cut costs, the U.S. Air Force reportedly plans to move eight giant C-130 cargo planes from their current base in Texas. During hurricane evacuations in the U.S. Gulf Coast states, those eight planes are used to ferry people out and bring supplies in — and the governors of those five states are complaining about the potential loss of the planes to the area.

The governors of the five Gulf Coast states sent a letter to Barack Obama opposing the plan to pull the planes out of Texas and move them to Montana. (The entire Texas congressional delegation signed the letter, too.) They say that the planes would be too far away in the future to provide quick and effective help in case of hurricane disasters, so they want to planes to keep sitting there — waiting for the next time they need them. Without paying for them, of course.

And here’s the key. All five of those governors are Republicans. All five claim to be conservatives at election time. They speak of cutting taxes and slashing budgets. When it’s not election time, though, they’re more interested in what goodies they can get that are funded by national taxpayers. They’re opposed to any cuts that might affect their states. Why is there such a disconnect between their campaign rhetoric and what they work for once they’re in office?

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NOTEBOOK: If results confuse Paul’s aides, how competent are they?

By David McElroy · March 8, 2012

It’s time for this week’s random musings that don’t fit anywhere else….

When other people are confused and frustrated about things that seem perfectly obvious to me, it makes me really frustrated, too. I felt that way Wednesday when I saw this article about Ron Paul’s strategists being confused about losing elections despite generating enthusiastic crowds at events.

If these guys are honestly confused, I wonder how experienced or competent they are. I knew months and months ago how this was going to play out for Paul. If anything, it’s gone even worse than I expected. I figured he’d slip up and win some small state or two, but that hasn’t even happened.

Here’s the truth. Ron Paul has the most enthusiastic core of supporters of any campaign today, bar none. If elections were won because of whose biggest supporters were most passionate, Paul would be elected. But that’s not how politics works. Most people aren’t going to go to anybody’s campaign event. They have busy lives and they honestly don’t care enough about the candidates. But when it’s time to vote, most of them are going to vote for a candidate whose ideas are mainstream and familiar to them.

Whether we like it or not, we are far outside the mainstream. The passion of a tiny group isn’t enough to change the fact that the masses recoil at our ideas. That’s just reality. Any political strategist should know this.

Remember the “corruption” trial that I told you about last week? I didn’t think there was any way these people should have been convicted, because what they were proven to be doing was just as legal as what anybody else in politics does. Well, the jury found all defendants not guilty on all charges Wednesday. I don’t necessarily support the people on trial — or vouch for their character — but the verdict was the right one. It’s a big blow to the out-of-control federal prosecutors who brought the case. They proved the old legal aphorism that a good prosecutor can successfully indict a ham sandwich.

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This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
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Late Sunday night, Sam is on his back in my lap. T Late Sunday night, Sam is on his back in my lap. There’s no way he would have done this a few months ago, much less a year ago. Sam would still rather be left alone, but if I pick him up, he eventually relaxes and enjoys the attention. That’s been nice to watch happen.
Oliver sees remarkably little reason to get out of Oliver sees remarkably little reason to get out of his bed this afternoon.
This is what happens when you take a picture of a This is what happens when you take a picture of a black cat against a black t-shirt in a room that’s almost completely dark. It’s pretty heavy on the black.
When Alex suddenly plops down on his side dramatic When Alex suddenly plops down on his side dramatically and starts purring loudly, it’s his signal that I am expected to come pet him right now. 
Oliver spent the rainy afternoon keeping an eye on Oliver spent the rainy afternoon keeping an eye on the neighborhood and pretending he wasn’t waiting for something interesting to happen.
When I got home around 1 a.m., Oliver just wanted When I got home around 1 a.m., Oliver just wanted to hang out with me for a few minutes, so here’s what he looks like chilling on his back. This was as far as I could stretch my arm for the shot, but I was able to barely get all four legs into view.
I haven’t yet fed these starving felines for the e I haven’t yet fed these starving felines for the evening, so they are lying on the bed while I work. Every time they think I’m about to get up — and go find their dinner — they look at me expectantly. The service in this restaurant is terrible.
My office manager was struggling to stay awake dur My office manager was struggling to stay awake during the Friday afternoon staff meeting.
I’m trying to get us all to sleep early for a chan I’m trying to get us all to sleep early for a change and Alex seems as though he’s ready to cooperate.
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Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

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