I don’t make New Year’s resolutions. I’m sure they’re useful for some people, but they don’t make any difference to me. I think I’ve finally figured out why.
Resolutions seem to focus on a desired outcome or behavior rather than the reason behind the behavior. Just wanting to change your outcomes isn’t enough. You have to change your decisions that have produced the outcomes you’re trying to eliminate.
I find it really easy to list the obvious things I’d like to change about myself. I’d like to drop the weight that I’ve gained in the last five years. I’d like to move to a home I like better and is more suited to me. I’d like to make more money and do work that’s fulfilling. I’d like to keep my house cleaner. I’d like to have a romantic relationship that I’m happy with and is emotionally healthy. I’d like to find the motivation to complete the film projects I’ve been working on.
This isn’t rocket science. I can make a nice list of them. I can even promise that I’m going to do them all. But that doesn’t work for me. That approach also doesn’t seem to work for others. Why not?
I think it’s because we fail to look at the reasons we do the things we do.
It doesn’t do me a bit of good to swear I’m going to use willpower to force myself to quit eating sweets and exercise more unless I look at why I’ve made the behavioral decisions that led me to gain weight. It doesn’t do me any good to resolve to make more money unless I ask myself why I’ve done the things I’ve done in the last decade that have led me to squander my talent and opportunities. And so forth.
The love I crave seems beyond horizon, always out of my reach
Where are Obama’s tears when he’s the one killing innocent children?
That huge fed debt increase? They’ve already used 60 percent of it
How can we be lonely while we’re surrounded by billions of people?
For good or bad, we default back to what feels most familiar to us
Friday nights still take me back to sidelines of high school football
Bride is 89 and the groom is 86,
Right of secession? In a sane world, we could talk about it in 2011 without talk of slavery
Does mainstream schooling model bring out the worst in teen-agers?