When I was a little boy, the wait for Christmas each year seemed to take forever. Even in the summer — or even after school had started back in the fall — the weeks until Christmas went by at a snail’s pace.
If you can remember being a child — and dreaming about what you might get for Christmas or whatever holiday your family celebrated — you probably remember feeling the same way.
When you’re 5 years old, the time until another Christmas represents 20 percent of the time you’ve been alive. That might as well have been forever back then.
When I thought about what I would be in the future — when I got old enough to start having oversized ambitions for myself — my life seemed to stretch to eternity. My parents had lived half their lives. My grandparents have lived most of theirs. But I had forever to become what I was meant to be.
For the first time in my life, I feel a clock ticking. I no longer have forever. I have decades left in which I can live and love, but the years are flying by. The time from one Christmas to the next is now a blur.
I still have plenty of time, but it’s no longer forever. And for the first time in my life, I’m feeling a fear I’ve never known. What if I don’t find the love and the life I’ve always needed?

What do we prove with huge houses we can’t afford to pay for or even fill?
For good or bad, we default back to what feels most familiar to us
What’s the use of love if the one who you love doesn’t need you?
Unexpected proposal leaves me pondering my craving to be loved
Love & Hope — Episode 14:
Inner peace requires breaking free of your defense mechanisms
Until you ask the right questions, you’ll never find missing answers
Why is it so hard to make good art? It’s something I’ll never understand
I fear nobody will come with me as I start down a difficult path