I found myself in a time machine Monday night. My body didn’t move, but my mind and my heart were transported to the years when I was a teen-ager.
I didn’t mean to take this trip into the past. I ran across a YouTube video promising snippets of the most popular song from every month of the decade of my youth. I was curious whether I’d know all the songs. It never occurred to me that the music would awaken something disturbing.
At first, I didn’t feel anything out of the ordinary. Then the songs reached the years when I was about 14, 15 and 16.
All of a sudden, I was feeling emotions I had experienced during those years. Some of the sounds awakened specific memories. My mind was a blur. What I didn’t expect was the flood of emotions.
I can talk clinically about the experience of growing up with a narcissistic father and an absent mother. I can outline the ways this affected me, but I almost always talk about it with the matter-of-fact tone of reciting facts.
What I felt tonight wasn’t about reason or psychology or dry narrative. It was a flood of feelings such as fear and shame and pain. They were emotions I was too terrified to openly feel at the time.

Face the facts: U.S. Constitution is dead document with no meaning
I often need to remind myself what I still believe to be true
Most of nature follows instinct, but humans often ignore voice
If you need vacation from spouse, maybe you married wrong person
Democrat congressman: Tea Party wants blacks ‘hanging on a tree’
Collective freak-out over tasteless shirt points to double standard
What if ‘fixing’ a mental condition changes the person you are?
Kind words can make difference for stressed parents at Christmas
Would you have been on a ship? Or back home complaining?