The brutal truth is that people rarely change how they treat others — no matter how much they plead and beg and promise to change their ways.
I get a lot of email from people seeking relationship advice. I think it’s because I’ve written quite a bit about love — often documenting my own mistakes — and many people just want to tell their stories to an unbiased stranger who doesn’t know anybody involved. I often get the idea that these hurting people know what they need to do, but it makes them feel better to tell me.
I don’t have time to respond to most of these emails, but I often find myself wishing I could sit down with these women — they’re almost always women — and talk with them for an hour or so. What most of them seem to need to hear is simple: “He’s almost certainly not going to change. Not now. Not next year. Never, no matter what he says when he’s scared that he’s about to lose you.”
We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
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When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone
I can force child to obey me, but obedience comes with high cost
Admission to elite colleges is signaling, not about learning
He couldn’t mold her into himself, but my dad broke Mother’s spirit
Fear of Big Brother: What good are rights if you’re afraid to use them?
Fear of making trade-offs to get best life leaves us with nothing
Boston ‘gay on gay’ assault shines light on absurdity of ‘hate crime’