As I read aloud from the book, I could tell that my girlfriend was increasingly upset by what she was listening to. It was nearly a decade ago and my then-girlfriend and I had been learning more about ourselves by working our way through a personality system called ANSIR. I was reading a section of a book which discussed a long-term pairing of her type and my type.
“Then we don’t have any chance, do we?” she said with tears in her eyes once I finished.
I was at a stage in our relationship when I thought we probably should split up. For me, the book was just pointing out obvious problems between us that needed work. In a way, I was letting this book guide us toward the breakup that I thought I wanted and that I thought was right.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation lately and about a lot of the discussions she and I had during that period. Was I right in believing that our personality differences were driving our problems? Was she right in concluding we had no chance because of what the book said about our core differences?

It took me years to feel the anger I’d repressed since childhood
The Cain Train becomes train wreck when candidate has to think on feet
In a world full of hate and hurt, love must be a conscious choice
In the middle of world’s madness, happiness makes me think of her
Homeless honor student thrown into jail for missing too much school
Life is a game of hide-and-seek; we’re lost if we no longer seek
Why do we paint ourselves into joyless corners with no way out?
Looking for the Boston scapegoat? You’ll never find perfect security