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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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Are we destined to become our parents? Or can we be different?

By David McElroy · December 18, 2011

I decided pretty early in life that I was going to be very different from my parents. It seemed easy at the time to just watch their mistakes and avoid them. So why have I spent so much time over the years hating things about myself that seem to have come straight from them?

Some psychologists would argue that it’s because I learned their habits as I was growing up, so it’s all about the environment. Others might argue that the ways in which I’m like them are simply in my genes (and thus hard to overcome), so it’s all about nature.

I think it’s some of both, as I suspect most people believe today. I think most of us would like to believe we were born as blank slates and that whatever we have is just an accumulation of the “programming” that we got from our parents and whoever else raised us, but I don’t think that’s the case. Economist Bryan Caplan looked at all the studies he could find on the subject and concluded the opposite.

In his recent book, “Selfish Reasons to Have More Kids: Why Being a Great Parent is Less Work and More Fun Than You Think,” he argues that most of what kids are going to become is encoded in their genes. He says that the studies he looked at prove that most of the things parents do to change their kids have little effect. (Here’s an EconTalk podcast in which Caplan discusses the research and his conclusions. I highly recommend it.)

But whatever it is, why have I so often in the past heard things coming out of my mouth — or seen myself acting in certain ways — that seemed to be the ghost of my (still living) father within me?

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Members of Congress can’t tell constituents ‘Merry Christmas’

By David McElroy · December 17, 2011

For a country that allegedly values free speech, there certainly are a lot of conflicting rules about what member of the U.S. House can say to their constituents in franked mail.

If you’re a member of the Senate, you can say “Merry Christmas” in your constituent mail. If you’re in the House, the rules are different.

A franking commission spokesman confirmed to The Washington Examiner that Members of Congress indeed cannot wish constituents “Merry Christmas” in any official mailing.

“Currently, incidental use of the phrase Happy Holidays is permissible but Merry Christmas is not,” said Salley Wood.

Even if we’re going to keep the current coercive state around, I’d be happy to get rid of the franking privilege. That’s the perk that allows members of Congress to send out pretty much any mail they want without paying for it. Have you ever gotten something from your congressman and noticed his signature instead of a stamp? That’s what that’s all about.

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If majority rule is such a great idea, why don’t we vote on toothpaste?

By David McElroy · December 17, 2011

I have an idea. Instead of letting everyone make his own choices about which products to buy, I think we should extend voting to consumer products. We’ll call it Consumer Democracy.

Since it’s obviously inefficient and confusing to let greedy companies produce different brands and different models of phones, computers, televisions and so forth, we’ll let the companies stage a campaign for their products. Then we’ll vote — and everyone will have to buy that product for the next four years. It will be the only product of its kind allowed on the market. Wouldn’t that be a great idea?

If you don’t think this is a good idea, why would you believe in a system that does exactly the same thing for what are supposed to be the most important decisions in our lives?

Governments generally control our protection against crime and fire. They control where our roads are going to go. Many of them control the water we drink and other utilities that come to our homes. They decide which companies and people are going to be given the money they take out of our pockets.

And they get to decide how much money to take out of our pockets. Not only that, they can send people with guns to our homes to throw us into jail if we don’t co-operate with their theft.

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Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

It’s too bad Meg can’t relax a little more, huh? I It’s too bad Meg can’t relax a little more, huh? I’m obviously kidding, because this little girl has quite a bit of confidence when she’s hanging out with me — and she has more confidence around the three boys every day, so that makes me happy. She’s been a great addition to the household.
By the time I left the office about 5:30 p.m. Frid By the time I left the office about 5:30 p.m. Friday, some light rain from the approaching hurricane was starting to fall. It’s been completely cloudy in Birmingham all day because of the bands of clouds pushing north from the Gulf of Mexico. About halfway home, I noticed that the sky had suddenly started exhibiting this beautiful orange glow to the west. So even though it was far too cloudy for us to see a real sunset, the light was still colorful enough and bright enough to punch through at the horizon. So I stopped on the Cahaba River bridge on I-459 and caught this quick shot. Within just a couple of minutes, the clouds had covered up the color — and the rain started getting a bit harder. By morning, we should have howling winds and serious thunderstorms. Let’s just hope there are no tornados spawned by this storm in our area.
I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a I need some new portraits of myself, so I tried a few shots after I got home late Monday night. This one wasn’t great, so I’ll try again later, but I can use it until I have time to shoot another. I was too lazy to light this one properly — and it shows. 😺
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
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Critter Instagram

Alex poses for me on the fireplace mantle late Fri Alex poses for me on the fireplace mantle late Friday night.
Sam is relaxing in an office window Friday afterno Sam is relaxing in an office window Friday afternoon. He always seems to enjoy the sunshine.
From the CritterCam: The only light left on in the From the CritterCam: The only light left on in the office just before 2 a.m. is a small desk light, but it’s enough to make Oliver look dramatic as he relaxes with his leg casually thrown over the cat bed on my desk.
Meg is spending more and more of her time near her Meg is spending more and more of her time near her brothers in the office and this makes me happy. For the first few weeks, she spent much of her time in the bedroom underneath a chair. But in the last few days, she’s spending much of her time in the cave of the castle while the other three cats relax nearby. I think she’s getting happier and more comfortable every day.
If you were this successful at having your will ob If you were this successful at having your will obeyed, you might be pretty arrogant about it, too. 😺
Early Wednesday afternoon, Meg has been asleep in Early Wednesday afternoon, Meg has been asleep in a cave of the castle, but she just woke up and decided to see what the rest of the creatures in her world were doing on such a lazy autumn day.
From the CritterCam: Did Oliver just finish eating From the CritterCam: Did Oliver just finish eating dinner and he’s licking his chops over it? I’m not there to see, but the webcam just caught him doing this as he climbed into the cat bed on my desk. My bet is that he just finished the last of his dinner and is ready to sleep it off.
As I left the house early Tuesday afternoon, Alex As I left the house early Tuesday afternoon, Alex was on his throne at the very top of the castle — looking down over his kingdom below.
Late Monday night, Meg decided to get under the be Late Monday night, Meg decided to get under the bedspread and go exploring, which attracted Oliver’s attention. He got on top of the bedspread and sniffed everywhere she want. When she came out, she saw him and looked disgusted to have been that close to him.
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Briefly

Here’s another reason to appreciate the cats in your life: New research involving 93 countries found that places with more cats per person also tended to have happier people. The researchers say the finding fits with previous evidence that living with pets can reduce loneliness and stress while providing companionship, emotional attachment and social support. The study doesn’t prove that cats cause greater happiness, but it certainly adds to the evidence that sharing your home — and your life — with a cat might be good for you.

The company that owns Facebook and Instagram is heavily promoting its new AI-based software assistant called Muse, but people who are using it as it was designed are incredibly foolish. An early adopter of the software discovered that a few days ago when he advertised an item for sale on Facebook Marketplace — and he inadvertently gave Muse full authority to act on his behalf. The software agreed to a lowball offer made by another Facebook user and then gave that man the home address of the man for whom he was an agent. The software told the buyer that the seller was home and waiting for him. When the buyer showed up and waited angrily, the would-be buyer left an angry review for the man. And this angry man had the seller’s home address. It was only well after that that the software reported what it had done and admitted it had made a mistake. I won’t be putting that much power into the hands of any software. I think anyone who agrees to such terms is a fool. And the software’s user agreement says you’re responsible for purchases the software makes in your name. Nope.

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

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