David McElroy

By the standards I set when I was 25, I’m a failure today.

But if I had done all the grandiose things I planned back then — and gained immense wealth and power as a result — I would have been a complete failure by the more mature standards I set for myself today.

It’s a paradox. I had to lose everything I once valued — and I had to wander in the desert for a metaphorical 40 years — to finally arrive at a place where I feel qualified to even start living a life worth living.

I have struggled through years of what felt like defeat and exile. I felt as though I had blown my chance to do the things that matter to me. But something has changed.

I’ve realized that I am entering into my best period yet — intellectually, creatively and emotionally. I am finally where I wish I could have been at 25 or 30. I had to take a long but necessary detour — and I’ve finally arrived at the start of my life.

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When the YouTube video started playing at the next table, I didn’t pay much attention. But then I glimpsed the face of the singer.

“She looks just like Bailey Ingle,” I thought.

And then I realized that the young country singer in the video was exactly who I thought. Bailey Ingle had just grown up a bit.

It was almost five years ago when I went to Bailey’s suburban Birmingham home to take photos of her for a community magazine. It was just another freelance photo shoot for me, but this impressive 16-year-old made a strongly positive impression.

When I met her for the photoshoot, she was just a talented young girl with big dreams. She sang at some local venues. Her big claim to fame was winning a radio station’s contest for a chance to sing a duet with country star Keith Urban at a local concert.

But this young woman had talent and dreams — and she’s come quite a way since the day I met her.

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They were just another random family having dinner together at a fast food restaurant. But I couldn’t stop listening to their interaction with each other — and feeling envious.

I don’t know these people. I’ll probably never see them again. They have no idea anybody was paying attention to them. But there were some things about them that made me want to be like them.

There were two little girls and a boy, along with their parents. Everybody got along and seemed completely relaxed with one another. The children were well-behaved for their age, but they weren’t perfect. The parents gently corrected when they got a bit out of line, but they were relaxed about it.

The parents seemed as though they liked each other. They were trying to figure something out about an online order that they were about to pick up, so they were collaborating in the midst of dealing with the kids. Nobody was snapping or being short. They were polite and helpful to each other.

It sounds completely unremarkable, but what I saw was completely different from what I typically see and hear.

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