I have trouble giving up on people.
It’s not just people, though. It’s more accurate to say I have trouble giving up on whatever fantasy of the future that I’ve created in my mind. Sometimes that involves people. Sometimes it’s an achievement I’ve set my heart on. It can be any fantasy of what I think my life is going to look like.
I fall in love with my fantasies, I suppose. My life will be perfect when I make this thing happen. Everything will be perfect when this woman loves me and we live happily ever after.
And when I figure out that I’ve been chasing the wrong thing, I have trouble letting go of it. I have trouble saying that this thing is never going to happen. It’s hard for me to admit that maybe the thing I’ve been chasing was never good for me anyway.
When I stubbornly cling to dreams that are already dead, I sometimes allow myself to miss better opportunities. I sometimes mope so much about what I can’t have — even something I’ve decided isn’t good for me — that I miss better choices.
It’s been very difficult for me to stop watering dead flowers.

I don’t like most people in TV ads, but I can’t tell if it’s them or me
If you repress feelings long enough, depression attacks without warning
Are you ready for chaos when fed shutdown turns your gravity off?
You’re not going to understand me as I want to be understood
Our life choices dictate who will be there when it’s our time to die
They can’t get anybody high, but Smarties are latest ‘drug craze’
Top secret weapon for homeland security: the ‘Sno-Cone’ machine
If elections could bring freedom, voting would have been outlawed
What if narcissistic vampire bit me but he never finished the job?