David McElroy

I regret a lot of things about my narcissistic father’s death, but all the things which I regret were things over which I had no control. Contrary to his repeated manipulative predictions, I regret nothing about finally standing up for myself and insisting that I be treated with respect and decency.

I wish I could have kept the respect and love I had had for him when I was a child. I wish I could have seen to it that his death came with dignity. But the things which led to that lonely death in a hospital room with a stranger were all of his own choosing.

I regret much about the things he chose for himself, but I have absolutely no regrets about finally walking away from his repeated abuse. I just wish he could have understood the truth about himself.

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or you can watch this video below.

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There were times when my father was loving and good to us, but we never knew when he was going to turn into a raging and dangerous monster.

We typically weren’t subjected to serious violent abuse, but when he turned into the angry monster — who I nicknamed “the Ogre” when we were young — the psychological abuse was damaging in a very different way.

This is the story of one of those terrifying days — something that my sisters and I came to refer to as the “who-moved-the-belt incident.” There’s no reason that anyone should have to live with this level of abusive control, but it’s especially damaging to young children — who don’t understand that this behavior isn’t normal.

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or you can watch this video below.

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Giving unsolicited advice is controlling behavior, whether people realize it or not. Those who give such advice might tell you they’re just trying to be helpful, but it’s controlling and it’s arrogant. It says, “I know more than you do — and you should do what I think is right.” Most of the time when you try to tell others what they ought to do, you’re wrong about much of what you say, simply because you don’t know enough about other people’s lives to know all of the details of their situations. When people vent about certain things in their lives — whether it’s in person or on social media — they’re not necessarily looking for you to solve their problems.

They’re looking for some empathy and understanding. And if they want advice, they’ll ask. If you’re not sure whether they’re open to advice, ask. But don’t go blindly telling people what they ought to do. That’s arrogant and it’s ignorant. (No, I’m not giving unsolicited advice to anybody. I’m not giving advice to any particular person. I’m just begging you to treat other people better.)

This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or you can watch this video below.

Keep Reading