As I read aloud from the book, I could tell that my girlfriend was increasingly upset by what she was listening to. It was nearly a decade ago and my then-girlfriend and I had been learning more about ourselves by working our way through a personality system called ANSIR. I was reading a section of a book which discussed a long-term pairing of her type and my type.
“Then we don’t have any chance, do we?” she said with tears in her eyes once I finished.
I was at a stage in our relationship when I thought we probably should split up. For me, the book was just pointing out obvious problems between us that needed work. In a way, I was letting this book guide us toward the breakup that I thought I wanted and that I thought was right.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation lately and about a lot of the discussions she and I had during that period. Was I right in believing that our personality differences were driving our problems? Was she right in concluding we had no chance because of what the book said about our core differences?

What really caused me to run from a ‘haunted house’ long ago?
Young New Yorkers say they’re fleeing the city — Why? High taxes, low opportunities
Uh, oh: For first time since ’45, U.S. job growth was zero last month
Fixing what’s broken inside often makes things worse until rebirth
Who ‘owns’ children? And who should step in when parents fail?
Pursuing transcendent meaning is rebellion against modern culture
‘One more thing’ can never bring the peace we can have right now
Why exactly is it such a big deal to be invited to the White House?