Think about the worst decision you’ve ever made — the one thing you know you should have done differently.
“If only someone could’ve warned me,” you might think. “If I had just known, everything would be different today.”
I’ve thought things similar to that. After things end in ways that make me unhappy, I tend to go back and find the one moment — and there usually is one moment — when I made a decision or took an action that caused what I’m unhappy about.
I’m prone to thinking how different things could be if I had a time machine to go back to that moment. But I wonder whether that’s true.
I found out this evening that a young woman who I casually know has gotten engaged. She hasn’t been dating the guy very long — and everyone who knows her seems to have very negative impressions of the way he treats her.
As she stood there this evening showing me her ring, I knew better than to express my misgivings. She wouldn’t listen — just as I suspect I wouldn’t have listened if someone had warned me before my own major mistakes.

I’m still hungry for healthy love that my 5-year-old self craved
We’re all masters of denial when facing painful truths in our lives
Want to feel happier, healthier? Try cutting back on your deceit
Once you taste what is possible, you can’t accept being ‘normal’
Epiphany: Was it so bad that I used to work toward perfection?
Even when we’re right, criticism stems from our own insecurities
Who was this attractive woman? Why did her story not ring true?
I don’t regret my choices, but I do lament choices he refused to make
Goodbye, Merlin (2003-2022)