relationships

I eat too much each Thanksgiving and I did it again this year. I’m stuffed this evening and I feel as though I could pass out and sleep until tomorrow.

It’s uncomfortable, but there’s something vaguely comforting about it, too. Since I do this every year — always with plenty of turkey and dressing and gravy — there’s something familiar about this. So there’s a paradoxical way in which this slight physical discomfort and drowsy feeling bring me emotional comfort.

It feels good because it feels normal. Something in me is vaguely satisfied with the discomfort because it feels like what I expect.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about this tendency to be attracted to what feels normal to us. I’ve concluded that this inner mechanism sometimes gives us what we need and other times leaves us stuck in situations that are unhealthy for us — but it’s hard for us to tell which is which, because all we know is that staying in this comfort zone feels right.

That can lead us into celebrating healthy traditions with people we love. But it can also lead us to keep ourselves trapped in places we don’t need to be, simply because something dysfunctional and unhealthy can feel so right — because it’s all we know.

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