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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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loneliness

Imagine what it would feel like to be alone and never again be heard

By David McElroy · March 13, 2019

I just had the strangest feeling of being alone that I can ever recall feeling. I don’t know what I want to say about it, but I feel oddly driven to talk about it — while I still feel whatever this was.

It felt like a dark black fabric was suddenly closing in on the room around me. I didn’t feel threatened. I didn’t feel any ill health. It didn’t represent death. It simply felt like a heavy curtain coming to separate me from everyone else in the world.

I suddenly felt as though I could walk out of my house and into the street — and nobody would be there. It felt as though I could walk or drive or fly all over and I would find nobody. I’ve never felt quite this way — as though I would never again see anyone and nobody would ever see me.

I’ve never felt so alone. I’ve never felt as lonely as I felt in that moment.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: alien, fear, loneliness

No loneliness is worse than being with people, but not a specific one

By David McElroy · February 27, 2019

This has happened to me before. It will happen again. Maybe it’s happened to you.

I got into my car Wednesday evening after a long day at work. Nothing earth-shattering happened, but it was busy. Interesting things happened. OK, more like “mildly interesting” things. But as I absentmindedly left the I-65 ramp to merge onto I-459 heading home, I picked up my iPhone to make a call. And then I stopped.

What was I doing? Oh, yeah. I picked up the phone to call her.

It wasn’t a conscious impulse. Nothing in me decided it was finally time to call her out of the blue. It was just an automatic reflex of my body to a yearning that I’m accustomed to squelching all the time.

Oh, yeah. We don’t talk anymore. I can’t call her. I can’t tell her what happened today. And I felt it again — that painful jolt that hits my nervous system every time this happens — as though something inside dies once more to realize how things really are.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: loneliness, love, romantic

Emotional toll from surgery harder than recovery from physical effects

By David McElroy · January 7, 2019

Until it was all over, I had no idea how close I came to dying a year ago today.

It was supposed to be routine surgery. I was supposed to go home that afternoon. But surgery that was supposed to last for 30 minutes went on for hours. My gallbladder was so “diseased” — the surgeon’s word — that it was breaking apart during surgery. He said I could have died from sepsis.

I was recovering from the surgery Sunday afternoon — still assuming everything had gone normally — when the surgeon came to visit me and explain how lucky I had been.

Nurses and doctors told me I should take a couple of weeks to recover because of the unexpected complexity of the surgery, but I was back at work before the week was over. Others who had had the same surgery warned me that it would take months — maybe up to a year — before I felt right.

What nobody prepared me for was the emotional effect it had on me.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: loneliness, love, surgery

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I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night I had just pulled into a parking lot Friday night and was watching traffic through the distortion of the gently falling rain on my car window when I realized that the abstract view I had matched the way I was feeling tonight, so I turned it into a brief abstract video to match my mood.
Get ready for the next great animated Christmas cl Get ready for the next great animated Christmas classic, featuring singing and dancing and danger from Alex, Oliver and Sam. Coming soon to a theater near you. (The funniest part is that if I cared about this as anything more than a Christmas joke, it strikes me as something that could be profitable with the right story development and the right animators.)
Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just wa Here are a couple of views of the sunset I just watched on my way home after showing houses. I didn’t have my camera with me, so these are just iPhone shots. #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
This is what it might look like if the cats and I This is what it might look like if the cats and I were cast in a Wes Anderson film.
This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT ha This is one of the funniest things that ChatGPT has done for me. I asked it to create a movie poster showing what a movie poster would look like for a film starring me. I told it to use my previous writings (from my website) to come up with a title and subject matter. And this is what it came up with. I can’t stop laughing. Also, the software decided on its own to included Oliver. 😺
I just noticed in the past couple of days that the I just noticed in the past couple of days that there’s suddenly far more color in the leaves of the trees, which lets me know that winter isn’t far behind. I took these two photos on a chilly Sunday afternoon nine years ago this week. #nature #naturephotography #colorful #trees #autumn #birmingham #alabama
Some of you might be aware that my dog Lucy died o Some of you might be aware that my dog Lucy died of cancer last weekend. As I’ve been grieving the loss of this beautiful and loving girl, I put together a one-minute compilation of short videos of Lucy from her first two or three weeks with me in early 2016. She was several years old at the time, but living with me provided her first stable home. She was unsure of herself at first, but she quickly developed confidence as she discovered how much she was loved. #dog #dogs #dogstagram #dogsofinstagram #cute #cutedog #pets #petstagram #petsofinstagram #instadog #ilovedogs #birmingham #alabama
Tonight’s moon is apparently something called a be Tonight’s moon is apparently something called a beaver supermoon. I noticed as I was getting home from work that it was a bright yellowish-orange, so I snapped this a couple of miles from home. It’s not a great photo, but I was pretty happy with it for an iPhone shot on the side of the road. #nature #naturephotography #sky #colorful #clouds #sunset #birmingham #alabama #iphone17pro
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From the CritterCam: Just after 7 a.m. on a chilly From the CritterCam: Just after 7 a.m. on a chilly Saturday, Sam watches outside an office window from the warm comfort of the heated pad.
I just got home at 1 a.m. to find Alex in my bedro I just got home at 1 a.m. to find Alex in my bedroom chair — and he clearly has no intention of getting up until I force him to. About halfway through this, you’ll see Oliver’s tail when he walked in front of the chair — and you’ll see Alex’s instinctive reaction.
Alex didn’t appear to be too upset when I told him Alex didn’t appear to be too upset when I told him I was leaving the house for a few hours. I’m not sure whether he even noticed. 😺
This photo proves that Oliver quickly got his way This photo proves that Oliver quickly got his way — see previous post — when he wanted my lap. What a surprise. 😺
As soon as I got home and sat down with my MacBook As soon as I got home and sat down with my MacBook, Oliver jumped into my lap. I’m not entirely sure whether he wants to take over the laptop for himself or if he simply wants me to put it down so he can have my lap to himself. But I’m willing to bet it’s the latter.
From the CritterCam: It must’ve been shift change From the CritterCam: It must’ve been shift change on the heated pad just now. I checked the camera as I was about to leave the office and saw Alex in the spot, but before I could get out of the parking lot lot, Sam had taken over.
Alex woke up from a nap long enough to tell me goo Alex woke up from a nap long enough to tell me goodbye when I left the house after lunch, but he was curling up for more sleep before I left the room. His afternoon is completely booked.
Sam is still nervous about hanging out with me, bu Sam is still nervous about hanging out with me, but he’s far more comfortable with me than he was when he came in from the streets about 18 months ago. He’s still a bit feral, but I think he likes living inside with his brothers. He mostly tolerates me, too. 😃
Oliver makes it hard to get much work done in the Oliver makes it hard to get much work done in the evenings, but I’m not complaining. He purred himself completely to sleep just now and his head ended up tucked into the folds of my sweatshirt.
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David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

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If you have problems with high blood pressure, I’d like to encourage you to consider making serious changes to your diet. There might be some people who don’t have any choice but to start taking prescription medications for high blood pressure, but I’d like to tell you that I have completely eliminated my issue by eliminating all sugar and almost all carbohydrates. (A couple of months ago, my blood pressure hit 185/144, which was dangerously high — considered stage 3 hypertension.) By completely changing my eating habits, I’m down 22 pounds and my blood pressure is now in the “ideal” range — without taking any medication. In addition, I sleep better and I have more energy. Getting away from the sugar-laden mess that we generally refer to as “highly processed food” has been a life-changer for me. Now my challenge is to avoid slipping back into old habits — by eating in the dangerous ways that almost everyone in our society has come to see as normal.

When I first heard about this, I thought it must be satire. When I discovered it was real, I was appalled, but I still thought it must be a one-time thing from some nutty activist. But it turns out it’s the latest bit of pandering to a bunch of far-left activists who believe that a man can become a woman if he decides to claim he’s a woman. As everybody knows, men have prostate glands. Women do not. Period. End of story. Men can get prostate cancer. Women cannot. But political activists are so eager to pretend that a man claiming to be a “trans woman” is really a woman that they are insisting that “women” be included in public health messages about the issue. This is nothing but political virtue-signaling. If you’re a man, you know which parts you have. You know that you ought to be screened. Nobody is made any safer by dragging far-left gender ideology into simple medical reality.

Every time someone tries to tighten requirements around the use of absentee ballots, I hear screams from Democrats and others on the political left that such efforts are nothing but “suppression of black voters.” These protests have never made sense to me, especially because it’s never been a secret that absentee ballot fraud goes on all the time in certain areas. (Everybody knew it when I worked in politics.) The people who engage in such fraud are rarely caught — often because the local political establishment approves of the crime — but a Democrat who won a primary election in Clay County, Alabama, last year has pleaded guilty to this sort of cheating. Terry Andrew Heflin was running for a place on the Clay County Commission. He was caught ordering seven absentee ballots in the names of various voters and sending them to his post office box — after which he used the ballots to vote absentee for himself seven time. Did he have other people cast additional fraudulent ballots? We’ll never know. But in a primary in which he was able to win with only 141 votes, it wouldn’t take many fraudulent votes to change the election. The next time you hear “civil rights activists” claim that it’s just “voter suppression” to hurt blacks which is at the root of efforts to stop this fraud, remember Terry Heflin. If you care about fair and honest elections, ballot security and voter identity should matter to you.

A state legislator in Maine has been stripped of the ability to speak in the state Legislature — and her votes are not being counted on legislative issues — all because she made a truthful social media post. Rep. Laurel Libby (R-Auburn, Maine) opposes allowing boys to compete against girls’ teams in school athletics and she’s become known for making an issue of it. On Feb. 17, she posted on Facebook about a recent example that she found outrageous. She posted side-by-side photos of a boy named John who competed last year in a state track event and won fifth place against other boys two years ago — and a photo of the same boy (now called Katie) who won first place in the same event this year against girls. Whether you find this outrageous or not, Libby is clearly being honest and truthful about the objective facts of an issue of public importance. But the state Legislature censured her. Democrats decreed that she could not speak in the House and that her votes would not count on legislation — until she apologized for the outrage of telling the truth. She refused and her constituents have been unrepresented in the state House since then. The people who promote this ideology are out of touch with reality and won’t rest until they force the rest of us to join them in this delusion. But even if you agree with “trans” ideology, you should be appalled at this heavy-handed attack on political speech.

The late Steve Jobs was at the center of our culture’s transition from analog to digital. He co-founded Apple Computer. He led the team that revolutionized personal computing with the first Macintosh. As CEO of Apple, he led the development of the iPhone and later the iPad. You would think the children of such a man would be surrounded by technology. But Jobs and his wife Laureen didn’t let their children use iPads. Their home had few screens of any kind. Even though Jobs spent most of his time developing and selling Macs and iPhones and iPads, he was home with his wife and children for dinner when he was in town. The family ate together at a simple wooden table in their kitchen — and there were no digital devices or focus on popular culture. Instead, he’s said to have guided his family toward deep discussions of art, philosophy and education — with no iPads to be found. If the man who guided the development of such products chose a different path for his own children, does that suggest that his digital experience taught him that children need human connection, not screens? And does it suggest the possibility that we might be better off if we made the same choice for our families?

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