I’ve always believed it was my job to fix the world. To make everything perfect.
I never actually said that. I didn’t even consciously think it. But I walked through the world feeling a sort of panic — a desperation to fix things — that most people never experience.
Looking back, it’s obvious now where that fear came from. As I was growing up, my narcissistic father held me responsible for being perfect. I was punished for any deviation from what he thought was right and good. And he constantly judged everybody and everything around me.
Behind their backs, he ridiculed people who did things incorrectly. If he saw a public mistake — a timing error on a live television show or a typo in a newspaper, for instance — he used to tell me that someone must have been fired for the mistake. And I believed him.
I’m still afraid of my own imperfection. I still feel panic when I see others’ mistakes. After all these years, there’s still a nagging feeling inside that I have to fix everything — or else I’ll be punished.

FRIDAY FUNNIES
Partisans defend every kind of evil when it’s done by their own allies
Narcissists set themselves up for miserable lives and lonely deaths
How can a child process seeing his mother trying to stab father?
Here is another random act of kindness amid hurricane recovery
Life needs an ‘owner’s manual’; I’m writing the one I didn’t have
Why exactly is it such a big deal to be invited to the White House?
Social media is an addictive drug, so I’m kicking my Facebook habit
Love & Hope — Episode 6: