I have a deep need for people to praise me. And I desperately need folks to adore my work — even though this praise and adoration make me feel embarrassed at the same time.
Why?
Because no matter who I become and no matter what excellent work I might do, I am terrified that people will suddenly realize I’m a fraud.
I’ve suffered this secret fear since I was a child. For many years, I thought I was the only one who felt this way. When I was a kid, people praised me for being “so intelligent.” They used superlatives such as “genius” and “once-in-a-lifetime talent,” but I knew better.
On the inside, I was just me. I didn’t feel smart. I didn’t feel talented. I just felt like someone struggling to make it through a confusing childhood. I assumed I was “normal” and I was simply surrounded by idiots. I was certain someone would come along any day and expose the obvious fact that I’d been wrongly praised for years.
I expected that day to come — and I knew it would crush me when it did.
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Society needs storytellers to help make sense of a changing world
My bad teen poetry suggests I’ve always hungered for missing love
FRIDAY FUNNIES
Identity politics is the cancer behind Elizabeth Warren’s lie about ancestry
Existential crisis makes me ask: Can I ever trust you to love me?
‘War is the health of the state’ — but the death of the people who serve it
Authenticity the only path that connects us to people we need
Teacher suspended for insisting that failure is an option for lazy kids