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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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City rushes to demolish $4.5 million transit station after only 13 years

By David McElroy · May 21, 2013

MAX station-Birmingham

Why would someone tear down a $4.5 million building that’s only 13 years old? If you’re a government agency, you do it because you simply want to build something else. After all, you’re not spending your own money.

In Birmingham, the local mass transit agency built a fancy new central terminal for buses in 1999. It’s across the street from the Amtrak station, and the Greyhound bus station is a few blocks away, in a location where it’s been for many decades. When the new terminal, shown above, was built, it was supposed to be the first phase of a larger project that would combine a terminal for Amtrak, Greyhound and local transit buses. The agency has been talking about an “intermodal facility” for years.

The Birmingham-Jefferson County Transit Authority is a county-wide, inter-government agency, but it’s the Birmingham city government that drives the bus, so to speak. Mass transit is important to a substantial number of people who live in the inner city, but it’s irrelevant to almost everybody who lives in the suburbs. (I’ve never been on one of the buses and I see many of those big buses riding around the area virtually empty.)

So why is this very expensive new building being torn down this summer? That’s not clear. Nobody seems to ask hard questions — and make them stick — when it’s “government money” involved.

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Vulnerability is scary, but failure to be open guarantees loss of love

By David McElroy · May 20, 2013

Barbed wire fence

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about emotional vulnerability. I wrote about this subject about 15 months ago after I discovered social work researcher Brené Brown. I found her TED talk on the subject terribly compelling.

As I’ve continued to think and read about this, I keep uncovering new things to understand about myself — sometimes things I’m not so happy to discover. I knew that the dysfunctional home in which I grew up left all of us feeling shame and fear, but I seem to keep uncovering new layers of the effects it’s had on the ways I’ve lived my life so far.

Over the weekend, I had an epiphany of sorts when I realized the role that shame and lack of vulnerability played when I lost someone important to me about four years ago. I think I’d sort of already known, but it somehow came together in a very clear way that dropped a load of bricks on my head. Or heart. I’m not sure which.

I didn’t realize this for a long time, but I don’t like to take emotional risks, because I’m afraid of being hurt. If you happened to see the piece I wrote for Mother’s Day last week, you might understand why I have a long-term fear of losing women I love. I’ve understand that piece of the puzzle for years, but I don’t think I’d been clear on the fact that I set myself up to lose someone I wanted badly by not being vulnerable — by pulling back when trusting more was the healthy and loving thing to do.

So here’s what I realized.

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Anatomy of a lie: Why destroy credibility by exaggerating facts?

By David McElroy · May 20, 2013

pinocchioA screaming banner headline on the Drudge Report caught my eye Friday night: “IRS asked group about ‘content of their prayers.'”

What? The IRS was asking people what they talked to God about? That’s what the headline seemed to say, especially given the fact that there were quotes around those last four words. (Here’s a screenshot.) This sounds even further out of bounds than what we already knew about the IRS targeting conservative groups, I thought.

And then I quickly started questioning the source of this allegation. The headline stated it as a fact, not as a mere allegation. Then I followed the story to its source and realized that it was a lie to make a really bad story sound even worse.

According to the Washington Examiner, during the Friday congressional hearing, Rep. Aaron Schock, R-Ill., said this in an exchange with an IRS witness: “Their question, specifically asked from the IRS to the Coalition for Life of Iowa: ‘Please detail the content of the members of your organization’s prayers.'”

So what was the source of this allegation? According to the Examiner, it was a press release issued by the conservative Thomas More Society. The group produced a report — at the request of Schock, the Republican congressman — and the press release contains this charge: “Further questioning by the IRS requested detailed information about the content of the group’s prayer meetings, educational seminars, and signs their members hold outside Planned Parenthood.” [Emphasis mine]

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Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
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I told a friend last night that Meg had been “maki I told a friend last night that Meg had been “making biscuits,” but she didn’t know the phrase and asked what it meant. So I sent her this picture — before eventually explaining what it really means. 😺
With each passing day, Meg is relaxing more and be With each passing day, Meg is relaxing more and becoming more trusting. Just after midnight Thursday night, she’s relaxing in my arms and purring.
Meg wants to hang out on my chest and purr all eve Meg wants to hang out on my chest and purr all evening. I need to change clothes at some point.
When I got home, I took Meg into the office to bri When I got home, I took Meg into the office to briefly visit the other three cats. Alex had a big hiss for her when she got too close to him. There was a bit of hissing all around, but nothing that I didn’t expect. I’d say we’re right on track for what I’ve gone through many times before.
In the wee hours of the night, Meg is relaxing on In the wee hours of the night, Meg is relaxing on the bed and keeping me company as I write. She’s a beautiful little friend.
I just got back after being out for a couple of ho I just got back after being out for a couple of hours and she welcomed me home with a lot of purring. She’s now taking a bath on the floor at my feet.
The new tuxedo girl is rapidly adjusting to living The new tuxedo girl is rapidly adjusting to living inside a house — and I think she likes it. I’ve allowed very little interaction with the other cats so far, but she’s already learned to relax on the bed. I’m still leaning heavily toward calling her Meg (after the young protagonist of “A Wrinkle In Time.”)
The tuxedo girl has been exploring the house that The tuxedo girl has been exploring the house that she has access to (the parts away from the three boys). My leading candidate to be her name at this point is Meg (after Meg Murry, the protagonist in the wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time”). She seems to be adjusting very quickly.
The new tuxedo girl is far too “squirmy” at this p The new tuxedo girl is far too “squirmy” at this point for me to get much video of her, but every time she jumps down from my lap, she starts rubbing against my leg, demanding to be picked up again. She’s quickly adjusting. I was also happy to hear her using a litter box for the first time since I brought her inside 36 hours ago.
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Briefly

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s a possibility that I might be taking in a fourth feline. A couple of months ago, a cat-loving neighbor asked whether I’d seen a “tuxedo cat” hanging out in the neighborhood. I hadn’t, but this guy eventually wandered past my house a few weeks later — and we haven’t been able to find evidence that he has a home. I’ve been giving him water and food for the last week and he finally let me pet him two nights ago. He’s purred for me two nights in a row and he let me take a low-quality selfie with him Thursday night. Tonight, though, he let me pick him up and bring him inside to look around. This went surprisingly well, as you can see from this photo. I don’t know whether he’ll be joining the family, but I’m certain that Alex, Oliver and Sam would vote no, at least until they get to know him. I’m trying to make certain he doesn’t have a home, but if he does join us, what do you suppose his name will be?

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

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