• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to secondary sidebar

David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

  • About David
  • New here?
  • Reading
  • Video

What did he have to lose? Man’s crazy tactic leads to romance

By David McElroy · June 2, 2014

TicketThere are times when there’s no time like the present to follow your instinct and take a crazy chance. This is the story of one of those times.

On the online networking site, Reddit, someone asked an interesting question today: “Ladies of Reddit, what’s the best way a guy has asked you out?”

Here’s a story one woman told:

“I was driving around town after work, windows down — it was a gorgeous October day. I noticed two guys in a car next to me, one in civilian clothes, the other in his ABUs (Air Force uniform). I thought it was adorable that they were together because Don’t Ask Don’t Tell had just been repealed. I kept driving.

“A friend prank-called me and asked if I had any condoms, so I was laughing. We hung up and I was singing along to a Christina Aguilera song (‘I Hate Boys’). I stopped at an intersection and glanced in my rear-view mirror and saw a man running, full tilt, toward my car. I was so shocked that I didn’t think to lock my doors or anything. He got to my car, threw a slip of paper in, and ran off. It happened so fast I didn’t even really see him.

Keep Reading

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • How does a father overcome his own issues to raise a new baby?How does a father overcome his own issues to raise a new baby?
  • House design reflects our vision and helps shape who we become
  • New information demands that I change some of what I think I am

Filed Under: Uncategorized

Does your life feel wasted so far? Maybe your best is yet to come

By David McElroy · May 30, 2014

Harry Bernstein at typewriter

Harry Bernstein’s first book was published when he was 96 years old. After a life in which he supported himself as an MGM script reader and as editor of a construction magazine, it wasn’t until five years before his death that anyone would take his books seriously.

Over the years, he had written 40 other books, but they had all been rejected by publishers. He ended up destroying those manuscripts. But after he finally had a first book accepted — a memoir of the anti-Semitism he experienced as a child in England — he wrote and published three more books in his late 90s.

Bernstein said his 90s “have been the most productive years of my life.”

I’d never heard of Bernstein until I came across this quote a few days ago. I’ve still never read any of his work, so I have no opinion about it and I have no idea whether any of those 40 destroyed manuscripts were lost masterpieces. But as someone whose life hasn’t turned out — so far — the way he planned, I was struck by the lesson of his life. Maybe it’s never too late to become what you always knew you were intended to be.

I’ve written before about my frustration with losing touch with the person I had once been — with somehow losing the confidence and drive to achieve that I had felt in my youth. I’ve been thinking about variations on this theme for the last few years, but it’s really accelerated in the last six or eight months. Just a few weeks ago, I wrote about my fears of never doing anything meaningful with my life.

I always assumed that people who achieve something meaningful have a linear and obvious path to their success, but what I’m learning is that success looks much more obvious and predictable when you’re looking back at someone’s life, not speculating about what it might be in the future. And I’m also finally accepting that the path to something meaningful is rarely straight and obvious.

Keep Reading

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • Need for love drives behaviors; for me, old needs make me eat
  • I didn’t realize this until tonight, but I have been needing to cry
  • Redemption of ’Bama’s Jalen Hurts illustrates what sports teach us

Filed Under: Uncategorized

If you ask wrong questions about politics, you’ll get wrong answers

By David McElroy · May 28, 2014

Alabama House floor

Every time an election rolls around, some newspaper writer will publish some sanctimonious piece about how more people should vote and what sorts of people should be elected. These well-meaning people want change, and they prod people to “do something” to make things better.

The mainstream parties hold their primaries here in Alabama next Tuesday, and the expected article about electing better people showed up in the state’s largest newspaper today. It’s called, “We bellyache about the Legislature yet 59 percent of lawmakers have been practically re-elected and nobody’s even voted.” These articles are great for newspaper writers, because they practically write themselves and they get people riled up enough to leave comments. (There are 71 comments on this article so far.)

The writer seems to be asking why voters keep electing the incumbents and why more people don’t “do something” if they’re not happy with the Legislature. But what if he’s asking the wrong questions?

The only political questions we’re really allowed to ask in this country are which people we want to fill certain positions in governments. We get to elect “our representatives” to go to the State House and State Senate. We get to elect a governor and an attorney general and state auditor and members of a Public Service Commission. And on and on. As other people see it, we have plenty of choices, because there are many different positions and almost anybody can run for the offices. He or she just has to convince enough people to vote for him and he can hold power.

But we don’t get to ask the right questions, do we? The key question we don’t get to ask is, “Do I want other people making decisions about my life?”

Keep Reading

Share on Social Networks

Related Posts

  • THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Bessie, the beautiful girl who’s still scared
  • ‘Thanks for sharing your process’ is wiser than responding in anger
  • Where do we go from here? Things are about to get very interesting

Filed Under: Uncategorized

  • ⪡
  • Page 1
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 397
  • Page 398
  • Page 399
  • Page 400
  • Page 401
  • Interim pages omitted …
  • Page 714
  • ⪢

Primary Sidebar

Subscribe

Enter your address to receive notifications by email every time new articles are posted. Then click “Subscribe.”

Contact David

David likes email, but can’t reply to every message. I get a surprisingly large number of requests for relationship advice — seriously — but time doesn’t permit a response to all of them. (Sorry.)

Search

Archives

Donations

If you enjoy this site and want to help, click here. All donations are appreciated, no matter how large or small. (PayPal often doesn’t identify donors, so I might not be able to thank you directly.)




Future Photo Display

As part of my effort to rid my life of social media, I will no longer display links to my two Instagram accounts here. Those accounts will be dormant for the time being and will eventually be deleted. I plan to have a method for displaying photos here instead, but the solutions I’ve tested so far have been disappointing. I’m still working on it.

My Instagram

Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 27, 2026
Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026 Sunset, Leeds, Alabama — August 19, 2026
When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing so When I got home at midnight Monday, I was doing some work in the studio and Oliver wanted to join me, so I showed him around to acclimate him to the place again. He rarely goes in there, but I have pictures of him in that studio on the night I brought him home as a kitten. 😺
Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and Earlier this week, I found two photos of Lucy and me that I had never seen. I loved finding the pictures, but seeing these photos left me thinking about the effect it has on us when we lose an animal we love — and it was also a reminder of how much my life has changed for the last nine months it’s been since I lost her. I wrote an essay about this. You can find it as the most recent post at davidmcelroy.org right now if you’re interested. I really do miss this sweet girl.
When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping When I take lightning pictures, I’m always hoping to get just one usable photo, but I got two dramatic images tonight. You might recognize the water tower and communication tower that you’ve seen in many of my sunset photos. This is about a mile from my house in Leeds, which is just east of Birmingham.
For those who are in places where it’s miserably h For those who are in places where it’s miserably hot today, here is a minute of light rain and gentle thunder from my back yard late Saturday afternoon. It’s very relaxing to stand at my back door and watch this, especially since the heat is pretty mild today — 80 degrees (about 26 celsius) — for July in the American South.
Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new po Alex was willing to cooperate with me for a new portrait late Wednesday night. It’s been roughly three and a half years now since the cold night when I was able to lure him out from behind a garbage dumpster into a trap — but I don’t think he’s sorry at this point that he fell for the trick. 😺
This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the This is the face of a man who’s thrilled that the weekend is finally here. It was a very long (and productive) week, but the time has finally come that I have time to write and read and think. Late Friday night, I’m at the McDonald’s near my house with a Diet Dr Pepper and a MacBook. For me, it’s like Cheers without the booze.
Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the Donald Trump has figured out who to blame for the the D.C. Reflecting Pool turning green. The dastardly deed was carried out by a specially trained squad of Antifa cats trained by the Far Left. It’s not his fault. Arrest all the cats! #satire #parody
Follow on Instagram

Critter Instagram

Late Wednesday night, Meg is the only one of the c Late Wednesday night, Meg is the only one of the cats still hanging out with me in the bedroom while I’m writing.
When I got home late Wednesday night, I went to a When I got home late Wednesday night, I went to a side window to see how the cats would react to me showing up there unexpectedly. Alex got out of the bed on my desk and posed on the corner of the desk. Sam jumped into the window and meowed at me. This is an example of a picture that wouldn’t have been possible a few years ago, because the contrast was awful and it was far too hazy since it was taken through the window. But current tools that would have amazed me a few years ago allow me to save such images now. And that’s pretty satisfying.
From the CritterCam: I’m still at work on the othe From the CritterCam: I’m still at work on the other side of town, but Alex seems quite relaxed back home as he rests in the cat bed on my desk.
Meg just woke me up at 3:45 a.m. to let me know th Meg just woke me up at 3:45 a.m. to let me know that it’s time to play. She’s a very determined little girl. She’s purring up a storm. She was rubbing her face all over my hair and walking on top of me until I woke up to give her the attention she demanded.
Late Tuesday afternoon, Meg visited the hanging ba Late Tuesday afternoon, Meg visited the hanging basket of the castle for the very first time. She’s not sure what she thinks. It was only a week ago when she went to the vet and then joined us, but it already seems as though she’s been here forever. She and the other cats are still avoiding each other — and there will be some minor hissing at times ‚ but they can spend lots of time in the same room for a long time without issues. So her integration into the family is right on schedule.
Late Monday night, Meg has been lying on the bed a Late Monday night, Meg has been lying on the bed and Oliver is at the foot of the bed spying on her. He’s just watching instead of trying to come closer — and she’s watching him in return. They’re just watching, not hissing, right now.
Just before midnight, Meg was relaxing peacefully Just before midnight, Meg was relaxing peacefully in my arms while lying on her back. If you look at the bottoms of her back legs, you can see the remaining traces of the dirt from her feral days. Even though I’ve washed her carefully, the stain is still there for the time being. I think she’s a happy girl to live inside the house — and she hasn’t been with us for quite a week yet.
This three-second clip is the only hissing we’ve h This three-second clip is the only hissing we’ve had today. Oliver just got a bit too curious for Meg’s preference, so when he tried to sniff her, she let him have her full wrath. (This is super short because it’s made from one of the iPhone’s “live photos,” which can be converted to video.)
About two months ago, I saw Meg for the first time About two months ago, I saw Meg for the first time from this office window at the front of our house. She was walking down the street you see here and I posted a picture of her that day. Just before sunset Sunday, she made it into that window for her very first time, but she has no idea that she was sitting in the spot from which I first saw her.
Follow on Instagram

Secondary Sidebar

Briefly

Meet my new girlfriend. Her name is Meg. And she’s my little sweetheart. A couple of months ago, a neighbor across the street told me about a new stray in the neighborhood that she and I were both soon feeding. The cat had been very skittish about contact and she had a lot of scabs and parasites in her fur, but a trip to the vet last week revealed that she was otherwise in good health. The vet estimates her to be 1 to 2 years old. I named her for Meg Murry, the 13-year-old protagonist of Madeleine L’Engle’s wonderful book, “A Wrinkle in Time.” (Please read the book. Don’t watch the horrible movie.) Since we lost Lucy almost a year ago, it seems appropriate that we finally have a new little girl to join the household. She’s already captured my heart, but Alex, Oliver and Sam aren’t there quite yet.

There’s nothing socially acceptable that’s as dangerous as drinking alcohol. Most people grow up being told to “drink responsibly” — and all of us see people abusing this drug in one way or another — but the truth is that drinking alcohol is always a terrible risk. The alcohol in these drinks is toxic and the human liver has to work hard to filter the toxins out. What most people don’t realize is that alcohol is classified as a known carcinogen by the World Health Organization — because of the well-established connection between imbibing and various cancers. Many people have taken refuge behind the idea that light or moderate drinking might be safe, but a new study shows that drinking even one drink a day increases the risks of 10 types of cancer. When I was a teen-ager, I looked around and saw the negative effects that this behavior had on a lot of people and decided not to start drinking, so I’ve never even tried this poison. The evidence keeps piling up that I was lucky to have come to that conclusion early.

It hasn’t happened yet, but there’s a possibility that I might be taking in a fourth feline. A couple of months ago, a cat-loving neighbor asked whether I’d seen a “tuxedo cat” hanging out in the neighborhood. I hadn’t, but this guy eventually wandered past my house a few weeks later — and we haven’t been able to find evidence that he has a home. I’ve been giving him water and food for the last week and he finally let me pet him two nights ago. He’s purred for me two nights in a row and he let me take a low-quality selfie with him Thursday night. Tonight, though, he let me pick him up and bring him inside to look around. This went surprisingly well, as you can see from this photo. I don’t know whether he’ll be joining the family, but I’m certain that Alex, Oliver and Sam would vote no, at least until they get to know him. I’m trying to make certain he doesn’t have a home, but if he does join us, what do you suppose his name will be?

It turns out that the radical far left has been training “Antifa cats” to sabotage anything important to Donald Trump. Everything he did was perfect. Honest. It was all the cats’ fault. Arrest all the cats! This is the latest of my ridiculous satirical shorts. Please go watch it. Then “like” it and subscribe. Please. I’m begging you. (Too much?) Although a couple of the previous videos have had views in the hundreds, most have still been seen by fewer than 20 people. So I seem to be having trouble letting people know that page exists.

Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

Read More

Crass Capitalism

Before you buy anything from Amazon, please click on this link. I’ll get a tiny commission, but it won’t cost you a nickel extra. The cats will thank you. And so will I.

© 2011–2026 · All Rights Reserved
Built by: 1955 DESIGN