When I was younger, one of my neighbors came over and said he had something important to talk about.
“I have good news,” he said as he waved a piece of paper. “I’ve just signed the neighborhood constitution. It’s going to keep you safe and free. You’re not going to have to worry about a thing, because I’m going to take care of you. Best of all, I’m protecting you against attacks from space aliens.”
I’d never considered the notion that I needed to worry about being attacked by space aliens, but the more I thought about it, well, it seemed like a good idea to have someone protect me from them. And Mr. Madison seemed so sincere, so I figured he must be right.
Not much changed at first. I went on living my life and kept to myself. Every now and then Mr. Madison would tell me that I needed to change something about my house or my yard, but it was no big deal. Mostly I was relieved because the aliens hadn’t attacked.
Mr. Madison couldn’t do all of the protecting and ordering himself, so he deputized members of his family to help out. He only appointed the best, of course, so they had my best interests at heart. That’s what they told me, anyway.

Do you know your heart’s desire? Or are you just chasing a mirage?
Mom of out-of-control teen thug must share blame for ugly arrest
Good character matters far more than winning political arguments
How would you live differently if you knew when death was coming?
As nightmares plague my friends, I’m grateful mine have subsided
You have to do your own thing, even when crowds don’t ‘get it’
Hey, you! If you’re in New Jersey, you help pay for ‘Jersey Shore’
Don’t blame politicians; you’re to blame for growth of government
FRIDAY FUNNIES