David McElroy

My name ought to be mounted somewhere on this table, except for the fact that nobody but me would care, of course.

I’m sitting in a booth where I must have sat a thousand times before. It’s in a Whataburger restaurant in the Birmingham suburb of Trussville. Until I moved to a different suburb three years ago, this was my home away from home for many years.

When this place opened, it was the only restaurant near my house that was open 24 hours a day and had WiFi. Since I worked from home at the time and often welcomed the chance to get out, this became my second office. I was here at all hours of the day and night. All the employees knew me by name.

I have no reason to be over here today. I almost never come to this part of town anymore. But today is the second time recently that I’ve felt drawn to drive over here for no apparent reason. But I think I know why I’m here.

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I’ve started getting a lot of steamy email spam lately. The spam offers me no-strings-attached sex and all the pleasure I want. I’ve been fascinated by the marketing approach — because some percentage of men must find this attractive.

Helen recently uploaded some XXX pix that you need 2 see!! She lives in your area and is looking for a Man 4 a “One Night Stand”!!

Local Singles and Wild Milfs online 4 NSA Flings – Quick Sex Assured with as many Cheating Housewives as you Wish

No Strings Attached Sex, Perfect for One Night Stands. No Strings – No Distractions just Pleasures!!!

Some people are so scared of emotional vulnerability that sex is their only substitute — and they end up never understanding the difference. I assume those are the people who are clicking these links.

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As I drove through an upscale suburban Birmingham neighborhood Thursday afternoon, I couldn’t help thinking how much I hated the houses — and how stifling I found the oppressive designs.

I laughed at myself, though, because I knew I was one of the very few people in town who would think such a thing. This neighborhood is popular and desirable. The irony was that I was driving to a $250,000 home which my own realty clients were buying in just a few minutes.

The house is exactly what the couple wanted, particularly the wife. She loves a stately home that’s very traditional two-story in red brick — and this neighborhood has variations of that in abundance. And I was about to be paid a commission for helping them to find and buy a house which they loved — and which I would have considered oppressive and stifling.

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