Valentine’s Day in this culture is all about love stories and feel-good fantasy. But what about those of us who don’t have love — those of us whose hearts are broken by need and emptiness?
For me, love has been closely associated with painful longing recently. I’m torn about what to think about this, because I feel something strongly that I perceive as the truth, but some psychologists and writers say that’s not healthy.
“Deep painful longing, yearning and craving are not characteristics of love,” writes Shari Schreiber, for instance. “If you think they are, you were emotionally programmed to believe this in childhood, when you couldn’t get your adoration for mother returned.”
If I’m deceiving myself about love, then our culture is filled with music from people who are similarly deceived by their longing. For Valentine’s Day, I’ve created a list of 10 songs that fall into that category. These aren’t songs about happy love. These are songs for those of us who are alone — and who are longing for love we can’t have.

Why do we stay in prison when there’s no lock holding us there?
Our inexplicable behavior ‘signals’ to the world who and what we are
Top secret weapon for homeland security: the ‘Sno-Cone’ machine
Without peaceful breakup plan, U.S. faces violent, angry collapse
It’s when we create art — and create a better world — that we’re most like our Creator
When you make your life choices, you also pick the consequences
Union rules protect pepper-spraying cop from the firing he deserves
Despite death, finally finding love made life worth it for new widow