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David McElroy

making sense of a dysfunctional culture

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I never wanted to be ‘cool,’ but I wanted people to understand me

By David McElroy · July 30, 2018

I’ve never had any understanding of peer pressure. All my life, I’ve heard teenage behavior attributed to peer pressure, but it never made any sense to me.

There has never been a time in my life — even for a moment, as far as I can recall — when I wanted to be “cool” in order for people to like me (or for any other reason). I wanted to be liked. I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be understood and admired. I wanted people to love my work.

But at times when I didn’t get the admiration or understanding I craved, I never wanted to adopt someone else’s mannerisms or look or attitude. I simply wanted to persuade people to follow me instead.

I was listening to an interview today with a co-founder of a major software company, and he was talking about why he went through a period during his teens when he got into trouble a lot — with his parents, with religious figures, with school authorities and even the police. He said he was hanging out with a teen who was a bad influence — because that guy was “cool.”

And it suddenly hit me that I was born without that gene. I never wanted to be like those people. I never wanted to be anybody other than myself.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: cool, greatness, kids, peer pressure, psychology, teens

If you repress feelings long enough, depression attacks without warning

By David McElroy · July 29, 2018

Depression sneaks up on me like a mugger on a dark and lonely night.

I can walk into a dark alley knowing the mugger could be there, but I’m still surprised when the shadowy figure steps into my path and demands everything I have and then leaves me bleeding. That happened again tonight — and I’m in a dark hole trying to crawl back into the light.

Many people have far worse struggles with depression than I do. Some people feel suicidal, but I never have. Some people are unable to function well enough to support themselves, but I can make it through a day without most people realizing there’s anything wrong. Some people get hit with crippling bouts of depression and can’t even tell you why.

But I know why I slip into that dark hole every now and then. I walk a fine line between sanity and madness. I know sanity well and live there as my native land, but I’m sensitive to the siren song that comes from the chaos of madness.

When I’m lonely, I get too close to the rocky shadows where those sirens live.

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Filed Under: Uncategorized Tagged With: depression

Only certainty of life is that every one of us crosses River Styx alone

By David McElroy · July 28, 2018

I knew a couple of days ago that this was coming, but it still hit me hard Saturday afternoon when a good friend contacted me to say his mom had died just 20 minutes before.

Mary Harris was one of the sweetest women I’ve known. I got to know her about 15 years ago when she was learning to use an iMac and I became her informal tech support person. She always felt guilty for asking for help, so she would wait until her problem had gotten worse and worse. Then I’d finally get an email or a call asking for help

She was an incredibly gentle and gracious soul. I never heard her speak a negative word about anybody or anything. I’ve known for months that she was going downhill, but I was shocked by how quickly things changed. About 10 days ago, she took a short day trip and was walking stairs. By a week later, she couldn’t walk. And now she’s gone.

No matter what you believe about life after death, there’s an awful separation that comes with the death of the body. Even if we believe we will know a person’s spirit in another world, the separation for the present — and the unknown about the future — can be unbearable.

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My Instagram

This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmar This was the sunset that faced me as I left Walmart near my house just a few minutes ago. It was a beautiful light show for just a few minutes.
Here’s proof that reality and satire are indisting Here’s proof that reality and satire are indistinguishable these days.
This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot out This was the sunset I saw from the parking lot outside of the Walmart near my house just after the sun went down Friday evening.
This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy This little parody was inspired by my trip to buy gas a little while ago. Even at a no-name brand, the price was $4.09. If I remember correctly, it was $2.29 a gallon at the same station on the day the war started. I don’t know about you, but I’m tired of winning. 🤣
For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, For the best and most sophisticated in lawn care, check out the sponsor of one of my upcoming YouTube video episodes. 🙃 #parody #threestooges
Have you felt as though you’re living through Grou Have you felt as though you’re living through Groundhog Day lately? Me, too. Here’s a quick-and-dirty political satire I made this evening for fun and stress relief.
About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color About three minutes before sunrise, vibrant color is poking through the skies to the east of my back yard.
The lights and color might have been more spectacu The lights and color might have been more spectacular a couple of minutes before this, but this was the best view I had of the Monday afternoon sunset from a bridge over I-20 in Moody, Ala.
I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hour I just remembered this shot I got a couple of hours ago of the fading sunset while I was in the Publix parking lot on the way home. If you suddenly find yourself craving Arby’s or Wendy’s, blame the giant icons in the sky, not me. 😃 (BTW, this was with the iPhone’s 8X telephoto lens.) #nature #naturephotography #sunset #birmingham #alabama
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Critter Instagram

Oliver is just lying in a front window and purring Oliver is just lying in a front window and purring loudly Tuesday morning as he keeps a close eye on the neighborhood.
I’m about to have to take a brief trip — maybe 15 I’m about to have to take a brief trip — maybe 15 minutes — after midnight and this is the sort of trip that Lucy used to take with me all the time. Because I’m missing her tonight — and thinking about her because she would be coming along with me right now if she were still with me — here’s a random video clip of her enjoying a car ride. This was May 5, 2020, at 7:36 p.m. It’s been almost eight months now since I lost her.
I’ve solved the mystery of what really happened to I’ve solved the mystery of what really happened to the Reflecting Pool in D.C. I shouldn’t let these guys out of the house. 😺
Alex would like to announce that he has been awake Alex would like to announce that he has been awake for nearly seven minutes and now requires another nap.
Late Sunday night, Sam is on his back in my lap. T Late Sunday night, Sam is on his back in my lap. There’s no way he would have done this a few months ago, much less a year ago. Sam would still rather be left alone, but if I pick him up, he eventually relaxes and enjoys the attention. That’s been nice to watch happen.
Oliver sees remarkably little reason to get out of Oliver sees remarkably little reason to get out of his bed this afternoon.
This is what happens when you take a picture of a This is what happens when you take a picture of a black cat against a black t-shirt in a room that’s almost completely dark. It’s pretty heavy on the black.
When Alex suddenly plops down on his side dramatic When Alex suddenly plops down on his side dramatically and starts purring loudly, it’s his signal that I am expected to come pet him right now. 
Oliver spent the rainy afternoon keeping an eye on Oliver spent the rainy afternoon keeping an eye on the neighborhood and pretending he wasn’t waiting for something interesting to happen.
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Here’s the latest of my ridiculous parody shorts. It crossed my mind Tuesday to wonder what a slick and fast-talking car dealer might do right now to try to turn the high price of gasoline to his advantage. So I conceived of a fat and lovable character who tried to sell cars that don’t use any fuel — and then I started wondering if it would be funnier if all the characters were felines. Designing the King Cashpaw character took about four hours, but the rest took only another four hours, so this was a relatively quick piece that virtually wrote itself. I know it’s almost impossible for these parody videos to find a larger audience, but at least they amuse me — and there are 19 of them on my YouTube page now. The first few were very limited, but they’re getting more complex.

The Republican Party is dead. It still exists in name, of course, but it’s nothing but a shell. All that’s left are idiots and stooges and con men of the MAGA party. When Donald Trump is gone — which won’t be long — those populist idiots and pragmatic fools will have no one to follow. Democrats will thrive. They will take more power than ever and they will push the federal government further to the radical far left than ever. When that happens, don’t just blame Trump if you’re a conservative. Blame every person who has claimed to be a conservative and has given up on principles, character and everything else that Republicans once claimed to stand for. As someone who worked as a GOP political consultant for many years, this is disgusting and disturbing to me. Those who have enabled Trump to have almost unchecked power are going to be shocked when they see what they will unleash in the long run. It’s been plain all along what this narcissistic con man is. It’s your fault that you chose to pretend not to see what he really is.

We are ruled by the dumbest and most incompetent people among us — and we have a system which allows stupid and irresponsible people to force the costs of their idiocy onto smarter and wiser people. Can we get away with that? Yes, for quite some time. But we eventually reach a point at which the dumbest of the dumb — who are habitual liars and mentally ill fools — lead us to the disasters and destruction that some of us have seen coming for years. We are approaching that point. And yet most of the idiots around us still wave their rhetorical banners of support for the evil people who are leading us to ruin — and all of them point their fingers at someone else, never noticing that their own enthusiastic support of evil is to blame. When things finally fall apart, blame yourself for your blindness to the evil, not whoever happens to be in power when it happens.

I’ve been making some changes to the site lately and there are more changes coming in the days ahead, so don’t be surprised if you some small differences. This is not a wholesale redesign, but rather the addition of some features. Since they’re smarter than I am, I’ve put Oliver and Alex in charge of the technical work, which you can see in this action photo from the control room of our media complex. I recently added a series of landing pages for readers who randomly discover the site from an Internet search. I’ve also changed the YouTube link at the top of the page to go to the new YouTube channel for video essays that reflect things I’ve already published here. (Here’s a little bit about both of the YouTube channels I’m working on.) In addition, I’m trying to move away from using Instagram, so I’m experimenting with photo plug-ins that will eventually allow me to host the pictures — cats, dogs, sunsets, whatever — that I often take. So don’t be surprised to see more changes. Thanks for your patience. Let’s hope Alex and Oliver know what they’re doing.

I have no use for the theocratic and repressive government of Iran. The people who run the country are cruel at best and evil at worst. The Iranian people deserve freedom. But I have no personal quarrel with anybody in Iran. While I’m not thrilled about a future Iranian government having nuclear weapons, I’m just as concerned about nukes in the hands of politicians in Israel, Pakistan, India, China and Russia. I’m not even thrilled with the U.S., Britain and France having them, either, because I don’t trust any politicians to be responsible with such terrible weapons. All I can say with certainty is that American taxpayers have no business attacking Iran, especially since we’re being forced to pay for this attack in order to benefit the politicians of Israel — and nobody else. If Middle Eastern countries want to fight among themselves, that’s none of my business. It’s not the business of the U.S. government, either. I have no quarrel with anybody in Iran — and having the government which claims to represent me launch an unprovoked attack against a sovereign country will only make all Americans less safe in the near future. This attack is poorly conceived and morally unjustified. Remember that when the Iranians launch attacks that we will then condemn as “terrorism.” What the U.S. is doing right now looks like terrorism to me. And let’s not forget that the attack is the latest in a long line of unconstitutional wars by various U.S. presidents — who have no legal power to declare war on their own, according to the U.S. Constitution.

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