As I read aloud from the book, I could tell that my girlfriend was increasingly upset by what she was listening to. It was nearly a decade ago and my then-girlfriend and I had been learning more about ourselves by working our way through a personality system called ANSIR. I was reading a section of a book which discussed a long-term pairing of her type and my type.
“Then we don’t have any chance, do we?” she said with tears in her eyes once I finished.
I was at a stage in our relationship when I thought we probably should split up. For me, the book was just pointing out obvious problems between us that needed work. In a way, I was letting this book guide us toward the breakup that I thought I wanted and that I thought was right.
I’ve been thinking about that conversation lately and about a lot of the discussions she and I had during that period. Was I right in believing that our personality differences were driving our problems? Was she right in concluding we had no chance because of what the book said about our core differences?

Cycles keep us circling through life until we get something right
Maybe it wasn’t correct choice, but I’m not having surgery Friday
What kind of savages are we today? ‘Pick ’em out and knock ’em out’
Nobody can ever be good enough when perfection is the standard
How can you help someone who doesn’t really want to keep living?
The Alien Observer: The blind are leading the blind
Hurt people attract others who know what it’s like to feel hurt
Goodbye, Merlin (2003-2022)
Good artists show us what we can’t yet see with our own eyes