Somewhere in this world, there is a woman who wonders tonight where I am. There’s a woman who wants me and needs me and is willing to choose to be my wife. Somewhere tonight, there is this woman who I will want and need just as much as she wants and needs me.
I’m certain of that.
I no longer know her name. I no longer know what she looks like. She presumably doesn’t know I exist and I don’t know she exists. But I know she’s out there — and I know she’s looking for me.
It’s been almost six years since I’ve actively searched for a partner. I’ve gone out with some women over the past few years, but it was halfhearted. I don’t recall going out with any of them for a second time, except for the one who pursued me enough that we dated for an unhappy four months.
This week has been the first time in nearly six years that I’ve resumed an active search for someone new. The only thing I can be sure of is that the woman I met for dinner Wednesday evening wasn’t the right one.

I hate the intense pain, but I don’t know how to live without longing
Life choices: What’s important enough to spend your life doing?
World is a surreal alien landscape where nothing makes sense to me
The Alien Observer: Craving predictability in a world gone mad
Biases teach us what to expect, but we often turn out to be wrong
Do you want a company or do you just want to get something done?
Still relevant six years later: ‘We’re the Government — and You’re Not’