At every stage of my life, I’ve raged against authority — because my father made me so terrified of being controlled — but I’ve also begged for someone to give me permission to pursue what I wanted.
I needed some authority’s approval and permission, but I was angry that I didn’t feel as though I could just stand on my own. Every time I’ve wanted to throw myself into some project — such as a new business — I’ve felt as though I was paralyzed — until someone gave me permission.
After all these years, I’ve still been unconsciously waiting for my father to give me permission to be myself.
This is the next in a series of videos dealing with issues that come up for me to think about as I write a book about my childhood experience of growing up with a narcissistic father. You can visit that YouTube channel to subscribe to future videos. (Liking and subscribing help me quite a bit in helping others to see the videos.) Or can can watch this video below.

Mark Bodenhausen was a principled libertarian, but he was an even better human being
There’s a secret to contentment that selfish people never accept
THE McELROY ZOO: Meet Anne, the cat who’d love to live in a shoe
I’m paralyzed by fear my choices won’t match needs of future wife
You can change your story, but you first must throw away the old ones
Partisans defend every kind of evil when it’s done by their own allies
Life as misunderstood stranger feels like walking through a fog
Obama channeling Heinlein’s ghost: ‘…we’ve had a run of bad luck’