Valentine’s Day in this culture is all about love stories and feel-good fantasy. But what about those of us who don’t have love — those of us whose hearts are broken by need and emptiness?
For me, love has been closely associated with painful longing recently. I’m torn about what to think about this, because I feel something strongly that I perceive as the truth, but some psychologists and writers say that’s not healthy.
“Deep painful longing, yearning and craving are not characteristics of love,” writes Shari Schreiber, for instance. “If you think they are, you were emotionally programmed to believe this in childhood, when you couldn’t get your adoration for mother returned.”
If I’m deceiving myself about love, then our culture is filled with music from people who are similarly deceived by their longing. For Valentine’s Day, I’ve created a list of 10 songs that fall into that category. These aren’t songs about happy love. These are songs for those of us who are alone — and who are longing for love we can’t have.

If you repress feelings long enough, depression attacks without warning
Traits that lead to great romance don’t always make right partners
Shame of not being perfect comes with every new thing I try to do
Just $12 fed mom and her girls, but bigger challenges lie ahead
New year is great time to resolve to cut toxic folks out of your life
There’s a secret to contentment that selfish people never accept
Despite death, finally finding love made life worth it for new widow
How do we often know things which we shouldn’t really know?
After chimp’s mother died, mama dog raised baby as one of her pups