Valentine’s Day in this culture is all about love stories and feel-good fantasy. But what about those of us who don’t have love — those of us whose hearts are broken by need and emptiness?
For me, love has been closely associated with painful longing recently. I’m torn about what to think about this, because I feel something strongly that I perceive as the truth, but some psychologists and writers say that’s not healthy.
“Deep painful longing, yearning and craving are not characteristics of love,” writes Shari Schreiber, for instance. “If you think they are, you were emotionally programmed to believe this in childhood, when you couldn’t get your adoration for mother returned.”
If I’m deceiving myself about love, then our culture is filled with music from people who are similarly deceived by their longing. For Valentine’s Day, I’ve created a list of 10 songs that fall into that category. These aren’t songs about happy love. These are songs for those of us who are alone — and who are longing for love we can’t have.

Authenticity the only path that connects us to people we need
Intelligent, well-meaning people often pull in opposite directions
In a vulnerable moment, woman confesses she’s scared to change
Goodbye, Sonny
Modern life doesn’t have to be as complicated as we try to make it
Only certainty of life is that every one of us crosses River Styx alone
Why are most fiscal conservatives ignoring Paul Ryan’s actual record?
Three years after she sneaked in, World’s Happiest Dog® is queen