I’ve always believed it was my job to fix the world. To make everything perfect.
I never actually said that. I didn’t even consciously think it. But I walked through the world feeling a sort of panic — a desperation to fix things — that most people never experience.
Looking back, it’s obvious now where that fear came from. As I was growing up, my narcissistic father held me responsible for being perfect. I was punished for any deviation from what he thought was right and good. And he constantly judged everybody and everything around me.
Behind their backs, he ridiculed people who did things incorrectly. If he saw a public mistake — a timing error on a live television show or a typo in a newspaper, for instance — he used to tell me that someone must have been fired for the mistake. And I believed him.
I’m still afraid of my own imperfection. I still feel panic when I see others’ mistakes. After all these years, there’s still a nagging feeling inside that I have to fix everything — or else I’ll be punished.

New information demands that I change some of what I think I am
My endorsement goes to the man who can make coercive state work
Don’t believe the words they say: Politicians revert to their incentives
FRIDAY FUNNIES
If online attack confirms your biases too nicely, it just might be a fake
When we don’t feel understood, we feel lonely even in a crowd
Atlanta police arrest wrong Teresa, but keep her locked up for 53 days
It’s hard to take a scary chance, but success can be breathtaking
If I perform well enough for you, will you give me love, approval?