For the briefest of moments, I felt something completely irrational.
I wanted the car which was driving erratically in the lane next to me to hit my car. Nothing serious. Just a slow-speed bump. Just enough to be interesting. Something different.
That was Saturday afternoon. I was only about a mile from my house. I pulled into a parking lot to think about the crazy thought that had just gone through my mind. Even though I clearly didn’t actually want to be in an accident, something in my brain had briefly thought it would be interesting — and I was seriously disturbed by that.
At first, I thought I was just bored, not in the momentary sense, but in the long-term sense of everything about my life. And then I realized it was more than just boredom.
This was depression.
As much as I’ve been trying to shove it aside, my mind is screaming at me — begging me — to change what’s going on in my life, because I am throwing away every day that goes by like this.

We’re neither friends nor enemies, just strangers who share the past
‘This path leads to somewhere I think I can finally say, I’m home’
When love finally dies, it’s like a fever breaks and the pain is gone

End of life brought cancer patient to baptism six days before death
Patterns that made old mistakes keep us making same old errors
Liberal NPR, PBS? Why should tax money pay to influence culture?